Free Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She's Dead (Toad Witch Series, Book One) by Christiana Miller Page A

heard an ear-splitting scream rip through the room.

    It took me a few seconds to realize I was the one screaming.

Chapter Ten
    Gus came rushing back in from the living room. “What in the world… ?”
    But then he saw it.
    Laying in a shower of glass on the tiled floor, was the bloody, beat up body of a crow.
    “One for sorrow, two for mirth, three for a wedding, four for a birth,” he muttered.
    One for sorrow. I couldn’t stop shaking. I wondered if this was the same crow that had been hanging out in the courtyard all week. The thought that it probably was, was making me hyperventilate.
    “Breathe, Mara. Slow breaths. Slower. What is wrong with you? I’ve never seen you freak out like this. It’s just a crow.”
    I took a deep breath and it all came out. From the nightmares to the vision of my dad and his warning to stay away from magic before some mysterious curse finds me, to the weird hallucinations and my secret late-night ritual, to the too-vivid dream that wrenched me awake and the crow on my bathroom floor.
    And then I started smacking Gus.
    “What?! What did I do?!” he asked, trying to dodge the blows.
    “This is all your fault. You and your what kind of witch are you bullshit. I was right. Just because someone can do magic, doesn’t mean they should. Now look what’s happening!”
    “Are you kidding?! I wish something like this would happen to me. Color me jealous.”
    I wanted to shake him. “Of what? That I’m cursed and living on borrowed time? Or that I’ve got a brain tumor?”
    “You are such a hypochondriac. You don’t have a brain tumor.”
    “So you think I’m cursed. Thanks.”
    “You’re not cursed.”
    “Oh, my God. What if I killed someone in my sleep?!” Every option was just getting worse.
    Gus laughed. “You’re not a God. You can’t kill people in your sleep.”
    “You didn’t see this dream!” Okay, so maybe I was being a little hysterical, but still…
    “Are you kidding me? You can’t even swat a bug without sending up a prayer for its soul. Maybe this is just a sign from above that you should open a pagan pet store.  You can call it A Murder of Crows and we can specialize in selling familiars.”
    I sat on the toilet and buried my head in my hands. I could hear Gus sighing. I knew he thought I was being a wuss, but I couldn’t help it.
     ”All I’m trying to say, is you’re maturing into a full-blown witch. How cool is that? Most people don’t get that option. They’re all WYSIWYG. What you see, is what you get. You, on the other hand, have layers. Like a parfait. Next time you want to do a spell, call me. I’m dying to do magic with your new, improved, witchy self, if only for the visual effects.”
    I shot him a look that would fry an egg.
    “Look, if you really think you’re cursed, then let’s go see Mama Lua. Before you turn it into a self-fulfilling prophecy. If anyone can help you, she can.”
    A shudder ran down the length of my spine. Mama Lua was well known in the pagan community as a witch doctor who was a bit overly-familiar with the dark side. She was said to be expensive, but worth it.
    I shook my head. “Just because I’m having nightmares, doesn’t mean I need an exorcism.”
    “What if you’re being gas-lighted by some spirit who wants you to think you’re cursed? Let’s get an outside opinion.”
    “And sometimes a cigar is just cleverly disguised bubble gum. Besides, I can’t afford it.”
    Gus shrugged. “We’ll just talk to her. A casual conversation. It can’t hurt, right?”
    Well, that was a matter of opinion.
    He stepped around me and scooped up the bird in a hand towel. “What are you going to do with this?”
    I grimaced. I desperately wanted that bird out of my apartment. “I don’t know. Dumpster?”
    “Blasphemy, thy name is woman. When the Gods give you a gift, it’s impolite to spit in their many-splendoured eyes.”
    “Call me ungrateful, but I would happily trade it in for a toaster.”
    “If