Free So Much It Hurts by Melanie Dawn

Shutting the notebook and cramming the pencil into the spiral metal binding, he stuffed them into the backpack that was sprawled out beside him.
    “Well,” I said, glancing apprehensively toward the ground and kicking at an imaginary pebble, “I’m afraid I wouldn’t be alive tomorrow if I did what I wanted to do.” I looked up, just in time to see him narrow his eyes and tilt his head to the side.
    Hopping up onto his feet, he met me at eye level. “What exactly do you mean?” he asked, clearly concerned by my statement.
    I shook my head at him. “Never mind. It’s nothing. Forget I ever said anything.” I internally scolded myself for opening my mouth to a near stranger.
    Chris took a step closer to me, attempting to close the gap between us. “Kaitlyn, it can’t be nothing. If it were nothing, you wouldn’t be crying right now.” Chris’s eyes probed mine, searching for answers.
    “Really, Chris, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it,” I insisted, peering up toward the clouds in the sky. I couldn’t look him in the eye anymore. He already knew too much.
    “Well, if you’re sure…” he said hesitantly. I could feel his eyes on me as he stared at me, unconvinced.
    “I’m sure,” I nodded, glancing back at him and faking a smile, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
    Waving to him, I quickened my pace toward practice. I wasn’t sure which one I regretted more—telling Chris too much or not telling him enough. Part of me wanted to tell him the truth, but the other part wanted to protect him from the wrath of Trevor. Although I felt sure Chris could handle any fury Trevor tried to dish out, I was just afraid that Chris would be sent back to the detention center if he got mixed up in any trouble. Fighting with Trevor Kent would surely cause the school board to boot a “trouble-maker” like Chris straight back to the juvie. No! I had to protect Chris from going back to jail. I could not let him get involved.

 
    I sat beside Trevor at his kitchen table on Thursday of that week. He had a paper due in his English class the following Monday and needed help editing it. Having spent hours helping him, I actually found myself writing his paper more than proofreading it. Technically, I should have gotten credit for the paper instead of Trevor. I found myself in that situation a lot during our senior year—completing Trevor’s assignments for him. None of his teachers questioned the fact that Trevor had gone from a teetering 2.5 grade point average our sophomore year to being well on his way to graduating with honors by our senior year. Maybe they thought his brain matured like his body had—overnight.
    “Thanks for your help,” Trevor leaned over the paper and tried to kiss me.
    “You’re welcome,” I said and leaned away from his kiss. I just wanted to finish the paper. I had been working on it for at least three hours straight.
    “Come on,” Trevor whined. “Give me a kiss.”
    I ignored his request. “I’m almost done.”
    “Okay,” he pouted, but couldn’t stop the smile that quickly overcame his lips. “After this, I’m taking you somewhere. Anywhere you want to go. You deserve it!”
    I thought about the possibilities…limited by a small town. Still, I could really take advantage of Trevor and his promise of “anywhere.”
    “Let’s go to Millennium with Allison, Eric, Eva and Caleb tonight,” I grinned at him.
    Club Millennium was a dance club in town. On Thursday nights, they closed the bar and opened the doors to all students ages fifteen to nineteen. Club Millennium was just about the only hang-out location in our small town. Most students lived for Thursday nights. Of course, the school board tried to shut down the club for years because so many students were useless on Fridays. To no avail, the club remained open and students flocked to Millennium in droves. Trevor rarely graced the doors of the club because he detested dancing. I knew his promise of “anywhere” was my only