Free Strong Signal (Cyberlove #1) by Megan Erickson, Santino Hassell Page A

into the massive parking lot, I took a deep breath. This was okay. I could do this. Social anxiety was something that had plagued me for as long as I could remember. But it’d always been manageable. When I was online, though, I didn’t feel my chest tighten or my shortening breaths. Everything was…easy online. And as my life had crumbled, I’d retreated online further and further until I could barely see my way out.
    In my apartment, at my desk, that was where I felt most like myself. Most in control. Out here? Not so much. But the thought of Garrett grounded me a little, kept me from losing my shit completely.
    I took a deep breath and unhooked my seatbelt after Shawn parked. He looked over at me. “Ready?”
    “Steady,” I muttered, and opened the door.
    The mall wasn’t as big as I remembered it. I wasn’t sure how long it’d been since I’d been there, but it’d been a bit, for sure. As I walked through it with Shawn at my side, I thought this wasn’t so bad. I held the paper clutched in my fist like a talisman because it reminded me of the reason I was here.
    Money wasn’t really an issue for me. I hadn’t spent much money at all over the last couple of years on anything except rent, utilities, and food. And I made…a lot of money. Even I found it ridiculous how much money I made playing video games so other people could watch. Having money was something I didn’t take for granted. As a kid, I’d hated being dependent on adults for money when they couldn’t give two shits about me. I’d started working as soon as I was old enough, and had never stopped. I’d promised myself I’d never be dependent on another person again. And so far, I’d kept that promise. Today, I was glad as hell I could spend some of my cash on Garrett.
    The first stop was a card store which had an entire wall of stuffed animals. I didn’t want to get a crappy kids’ one. I wanted the softest, cutest fucking stuffed dog I could find, damnit.
    Shawn—again, a freaking saint—waited patiently while I picked random stuffed dogs off the wall. They all got the pet and hug test. One was too small, another too big. One had coarse hair, another had curly hair that reminded me of pubes. I told that to Shawn and must have spoken a little too loudly because an old lady in the birthday card section gave me a death glare.
    Shawn snickered.
    Finally, I found the perfect stuffed dog. It was of indeterminate breed. Garrett had said he’d be a mutt. This one had a black leather collar, and a definite furrowed brow like he was scowling. Like a little pissed-off plush. But it had the softest damn fur I’d ever felt and was incredibly squeezable.
    “You have a huge smile on your face right now,” Shawn said as I paid for the dog.
    “That’s because this whole care package was make or break depending on whether I found the perfect stuffed animal,” I said as the cashier handed me the bag.
    “You’re weird,” Shawn said.
    “Yep.” I glanced at my list on our way out of the store. “Okay, department store is next.”
    In JCPenney’s, we bought socks and shirts—all suggested items for military care packages. I thought about getting him some boxers but decided that was maybe a little much.
    There were a lot of things that were on care package idea lists that I knew Garrett would not like. I was pretty sure if I bought him
Sodoku
, he’d try it, get irritated and then throw it across the room. I also figured he’d flip a board game and break it over his knee.
    So those were out.
    The mall had a massive candy store, and I spent nearly thirty minutes buying as much as I could. At the dollar store, I grabbed the entire shelf of baby wipes. This box was going to be insane.
    Just when I thought we were done, Shawn dragged me into GameStop for a new Xbox controller. Since he’d come with me I didn’t complain, but I was starting to feel a little antsy, like the roof was caving down on my head. Sweat slicked down my back and the sound