Free The Miller's Dance by Winston Graham Page B

Demelza said to Ross.
    'Very well,' said Ross slowly. 'Easter it shall be.'
    When Clowance had left he said: 'You weakened the
stand we agreed on last night.'
    ‘I know, Ross; I'm sorry. November is really no time to wait; but, do you ever remember when you were a child, each night when you went to bed was like a little death? Tomorrow morning was a month away. Well, Clowance is not a child, but even at her age three-quarters of a year seems half a lifetime. I felt of a sudden that perhaps a half-way-between date would make her happier, and if it is to happen, two extra months will not stop it.'
    Ross began to walk slowly about the room, picking up an ornament here, a book there, replacing them, without any particular awareness of what he was doing.
    'A lot of sensible men would forbid the marriage altogether, leave alone becoming involved in discussing when it should take place!'
    ‘I know,' said Demelza.
    'You know? And yet...'
    'You're not that type of man, are you. You have never imposed that sort of discipline on your children. I think, Ross, we have to accept facts.'
    'You know I caught him out when I was questioning him about the sinking of his privateer? I said he had run aground at Gris Nez, and before he had said the Sollies. He didn't correct me... But to be fair there was another point in my q uestion, and he may have been more concerned to answer lat and so have overlooked the other.' 'At least,' Demelza said, 'she has not run away. We are all being very civilized so far.' There was a thoughtful silence. 'You think there could be a risk?' if we forbade the marriage... and if she cares enough. ’ it would be a way of finding out.' ‘ Not a pretty way.'
    Ross crouched on his heels to poke the fire - then straightened up as that position hurt his ankle. He stirred the coal from a bending position. The firelight flickered on his face.
    Demelza said: 'Does all this not make you feel old ' 'Old?'
    'Prosy. Cautious. Elderly! If we cannot sensibly forbid, yet we have to counsel prudence. Advise care. Make them wait. I – I never thought it would be like this!'
    'How did you think it would be?'
    'Joyous. Us joining in. You and I. Have we not always been ready to take a risk? I thought I would throw my arms round my son-in-l aw's neck and cry "Welcome! Wel come!'"
    The light died off Ross's face as he shovelled coal on and watched the grey smoke rise. 'My case is no better. Nor my ease. If I am able to agree that they shall marry, then I at once become parsimonious by offering him only the opportunity to start with Jonas. With all my connections in the county I should find something better for him than that.'
    'Perhaps you will later.'
    'Yes... perhaps I will later. To be grudging is a disagreeable sensation, particul arly towards someone so — so un grudging as Clowance. It's her life, her judgment. I cannot believe that a man she chooses is undeserving of our love and support. But in the circumstances it seems right for them both that they do not begin their married life too easy.'
    Demelza was silent for a few moments.
    'When I was at Bowood last year,' she said, 'the ladies were talking about some rich young lady, who at eighteen had married a man they described as "worthless". I have no means of judging how they calculated worth, of course! But I remember a Mrs Dawson who was th ere —she said: "We all know, unhappily, what a hand, a man's hand, whosoev-er's it may be, can do to a virgin's body, how it can enslave.'I remember exactly those words. She said: "Intellect," she said, "the mind, the spirit - they're forgot. It is as strong as any spell, and between good and evil there is little difference of choice." That's what she said. I - have thought of it many times since.'
    Ross looked up sharply. 'What are you suggesting?'
    'Nothing, my dear. Only that when people fall in love, merit, goodness, kindnes s are not what tis always deter mined by. And we cannot think for others. We cannot feel for others...'
    He