Free Beyond Complicated by Mercy Celeste Page B

never shouted at him. But damn, how could I even begin to give Seth what he wanted with Kel here. "Sorry. Listen, take the car and go somewhere. I can't do this with you here."
    "It's fine. I'l head out. We can do this another time." Seth picked up the jacket he'd discarded.
    "No." I ran my hands through my hair. "There won't be another time. Ever. When you walk out that door that's the last I ever want to see of you."
    "You've become an asshole in your old age."
    Seth dragged on his jacket.
    "At least I'm not screwing twinks," I shot back.
    Again my aim was severely off.
    "What the hel was I the first time?" Seth shouted back.
    "A goddamned pretty boy who'd signed up to do a porn video is what you were. You picked me as your first. Or are you going to blame that on me too?

    You were just in it for kicks. I had bils to pay. You were a job. Just another cherry to pop."
    "Is that al I was to you? Just a job?" For a moment he reminded me of that day. Something in his eyes. Scared shitless, maybe that was it. I remembered how he looked at me. His long blond hair, like straw, with sun streaks running through it. His broad white smile that wavered when I touched him. The sounds he made. How he felt. How he fucking purred as I sucked his long cock al the way down. He came when I fucked him, no hands, just me inside and, when it was over, he wouldn't let me go. After the cameras stopped roling I told him my real name. I'd never told anyone my real name before. I didn't want them finding me.
    This one, this impossibly young, impossibly beautiful man—this one, I wanted. I wanted everything.
    "You were my fucking everything before the damned cameras stopped roling. Before I even knew your real name. You were maybe the hundredth guy I fucked on camera, and I knew you'd be the last. I changed my whole life for you. I went with you.
    Folowing the money while you played your way through school. I would stil be with you…" I held my keys in my hand. I loved the way the sharp teeth cut into my hand. It hurt. I needed to hurt, something, somewhere, other than my heart. I needed to get out.
    To go somewhere he'd never find me. Kel either. I couldn't look at him now without seeing Seth.
    "Except for the last film." Seth finished when I didn't. I wouldn't look at him. Or Kel. I couldn't. "I never wanted to see it. I was too angry. You used me to make one last big payoff video and you disappeared.
    Why would I want to see it?"
    "Deakman didn't send you the extra special director's cut in a pretty little case that read 'Play Me'
    either, I bet. Deakman knew what he was doing." He was breaking us up. Using us against each other. I was supposed to come and sign the damned contract and colect my hundred thousand dolar check. I didn't. He couldn't use the thing without my signature. I left them both to rot in hel. I never knew how he found me. I got a check for what Seth and I usualy made together for a film. Twenty grand. And a video.
    "No. He didn't. Was he supposed to?"

    "You were the one with the contract. I don't know what you agreed to, Seth. I wasn't there when the script was written. I was at work. The real job that was going to pay your way through school and you were waiting for me. Blindfold in hand. I don't remember much after that. But it's on the disk. Watch it. Then get the hel out of my life." I went to a large wooden trunk I used as a coffee table and flipped the lock over to insert the key. I lifted the lid and let al of the junk piled on top hit the floor behind. I kept my safe in here, along with a slew of other stuff I didn't want in the wrong hands. The movies in particular. My movies. Our movies. I found the one in the little jewel case and tossed it to Seth.
    Then I left the room to hide in my safe little corner. I'd forgotten about Kel. Forgot he even existed until I heard his voice.
    "Shit, please tel me that isn't what it looks like?"
    he said but Seth didn't answer. "Didn't you see his fear?
    Didn't you think it odd that