Free Seduced in the Dark by Cj Roberts

up pops my entry on Wikipedia about the Christmas
Amoeba.”
    She dissolves into peals of laughter.
    Oh my god, she really is crazy. I bite the
inside of my cheeks to keep from laughing. She is laughing so hard.
It’s infectious, but I resist it. My shoulders are trembling with
withheld laughter. I shut my eyes to assist in the effort.
    Caleb is there the moment I shut my
eyes.
    Joy turns to grief and before I can control
it, my emotions just spill over. I open my eyes and bolt up in my
bed. I laugh for a second before I burst into tears.
    I can hear Dr. Sloan moving. Her steps are
coming toward me, cautiously. I don’t care. I’m too tired to
care. After so many months of being careful, and hiding every
emotion as best I can, and fearing the future, and not knowing
what’s going to happen next, and thinking I might die, and fighting
for my life, and hating Caleb, and loving him….
    For fucksake – I watched a man die!
    When Dr. Sloan silently puts her arms around
me, I crush her to my body. I hold on to her with all my remaining
strength. I cry all over this ridiculous fucking woman.
    She doesn’t say a word and I’m grateful. Please, just hold me. Please, just hold me together.
    I’m so tired of holding myself together.
    She rocks me.
    I rather like rocking.
    Back and forth we sway for endless minutes
while I cry and sob all over Dr. Sloan’s suit jacket. She smells
nice. Her scent is light and almost fruity. It is distinctly
feminine and therefore, far removed from Caleb. With this feminine
scent saturating my nostrils, my brain cannot connect to memories
of Caleb and the way he smelled when he held me. It feels nice,
being free of the pain of missing him.
    Reluctantly, I pull away from her. I am
still humming with shame. I don’t know what’s come over me. I
wrinkle my brow in confusion and shake my head.
    Caleb’s scowling face is staring up at me
from the photograph in my lap. I feel a pang of longing. Dr. Sloan
pushes my hair from my face and I can’t help but think of it in a
sexual way. In another time, I’d have thought nothing of it, but
now all my interactions seem tainted by my newfound lust. Caleb
trained me well.
    “I want to help you, Livvie. Talk to me,”
she says, softly. I know she doesn’t want to startle me, but
already, I feel the tension creeping back into my shoulders. She’s
standing too close and the fact she’s talking to me makes me feel
cornered.
    She must be able to tell, because she backs
up. I relax, just a little.
    “I would like to see the charges against you
dropped, but you have to talk to someone. Agent Reed is…” she
searches for the word she wants to use, “very good at his job, and
despite his behavior yesterday, he’s a great guy. However, his
first priority is solving his case. My first priority is you. He
shouldn’t have pushed you the way he did.”
    I look up at her from beneath my lashes. I
wish she would hold me again
    “I’d like a lawyer,” I whisper.
    “Of course. If you’re ready to talk, I’ll
find a lawyer for you. But, Livvie, the things you need to talk
about go far beyond the legal charges. I’m here to help you with
that.”
    I nod, but say nothing else.
    Dr. Sloan returns to her chair and sits. She
looks at me expectantly with her green eyes. She’s pretty, in a
very down-played sort of way. With her red hair, the brown suit she
is wearing does her no favors. Still, there is something about her,
something warm and pleasant.
    When it becomes obvious I won’t be the one
to keep our little conversation going, she reaches for her knitting
and resumes the mindless design.
    Dr. Sloan presses her lips together,
searching for words.
    “Do you want to see your mother?”
    I don’t hesitate. “No.”
    She stops knitting. “Livvie, the people who
love you, accept you for who you truly are. No matter what has
happened to you.”
    “Well there you go. My mother doesn’t love
me, Dr. Sloan. She wants to love me, I think, but…I just