Free Bit Players, Has-Been Actors and Other Posers: A Must-Read for Fans of Glee, High School Musical and Twilight by S. Stevens

right into High School Musical 2 mode. He’d never seen the movie, so we cranked up the DVD player. Halfway through, he announced he would audition for Troy. No shrinking wallflower, this one. I’d already told him I wanted the part of Gabriella, or even Sharpay because “Fabulous” was one of the best snobby rich bitch girl songs ever written, right up there with “Popular” from Wicked .
    Re-playing the songs from the movie, we tentatively sang along. Our initial awkwardness went away when he starting hamming it up, acting stupid while belting out “You Are the Music in Me”. I joined in and soon the silliness went away but we continued belting out the song. And we sounded good. I was in heaven, and the ride was exhilarating. Alex wasn’t that good a singer, but in Nigel I’d found my musical theatre soul mate. He decided he would sing “Bet On It” for the auditions. Zac Efron didn’t have much on Nigel. Nigel wasn’t quite as good-looking but he had an amazing voice and some good moves learned with his band no doubt.
    Next up in our preparations was the acting. The audition would include a short reading from the script. Nigel seemed nervous about this part, but his uncertainty only made him more attractive in my eyes. It also boosted my confidence because I was more experienced than him in this area.
    Sitting on the couch, feeling brave, I took his hand and thought about how to coach him. Acting was always the easy part for Alex. He was a natural at playing different roles with various accents and personalities, so I’d never had to direct him.
    “Did you ever want a different personality?” I asked Nigel.
    He looked surprised, almost startled. “Er, no, I’m fairly happy with the one I’ve got.”
    I thought some more. “Okay, how about this…you sing in a band.” He nodded. “Do you ever pretend you’re someone else up there on stage? Paul Weller maybe? One of those brothers from Oasis? Come on, there must be times you step outside of yourself and channel one of your heroes.”
    He nodded. “Okay, I’m with you.”
    “Now, take that feeling to the next step. When you’re acting, you can be anyone, or anything, that you want. You can be more glamorous than you really are, or more vicious, or more conniving.”
    “You make it sound like a game.”
    “It basically is.” I didn’t say this out loud, but one reason I loved acting is that it didn’t matter if others disliked the personality you presented. In fact, sometimes that was the idea. The social pressure was off.
    “So, what do I need to do?”
    “Read this scene with me, and let yourself disappear inside the role.”
    Nigel quickly got into character, and he memorized the lines in no time. I pulled out more scripts from my pile and we practiced different character voices before deciding we’d done enough preparation for the day.
    “That was brilliant, Sadie,” Nigel said when I’d tossed the scripts aside. “I could get used to being Troy Bolton. I’ve always wanted to be a laddish American wanker.”
    “Uh, what’s a wanker? Is that as bad as it sounds?”
    “Let’s just say it’s not something to aspire to.” His confidence was back.
    “Is it like a poser? I’ve heard that word before.”
    “No, more like a tosser.” It sounded like tossa the way he said it.
    I squinted in confusion. “Translation, please.”
    He settled into the couch. “Right. Let me enlighten you about the finer points of the English language.” He adopted the tone of a schoolteacher and continued. “Wanker has origins that I’ll leave to your imagination, but basically today it’s roughly the same as your American jerk. Tosser, or the variation toss-pot, has a similar meaning – jerk, idiot, general loser. Are we clear?”
    “Tosser equals wanker equals jerk. Okay, I’m good.” Just saying the words made me laugh. “But wait—what about poser, what’s that mean?”
    “A poser,” Nigel enunciated, in what I’m pretty sure was an