Free The Hellion by Lavyrle Spencer Page A

       95 flattered, and her heart seemed to thump in double time while she couldn't think of a single sensible thing to say. She was thankful when he went on. "But before we were married a year I realized she was nothing at all like you. She's a vicious bitch. I married her because I was lonely, and on the rebound from another marriage. That--granted-- wasn't so hot, but at least it was company. I needed the sound of another human voice at the end of the day, and somebody across the supper table. So I married Nancy."

    She could well imagine his loneliness at the time, for by then he'd cut himself off from his parents.

    "And your third wife, Sue Ann?" she prompted.

    He flexed his shoulders against the back of the chair, glanced out at the night, chuckled ruefully and shook his head. "What a joke. The whole damn town knows why I married Sue Ann Higgenbotham." He swallowed the last of his drink, set the glass down and crossed his forearms on the table, meeting her eyes directly. "I think most people refer to it as male menopause."

    She smiled at his candor but recalled her mortification upon reading of his third marriage to a woman fifteen years his junior, and one known for her licentious relationships with countless older men around town. She recalled the snickers and raised eyebrows, and the way she'd always reacted to them with a quick defensive anger. How many times had she bitten back a quick defense of Tommy Lee? She experienced again the quick flash of anger she'd felt toward him then for making himself vulnerable to speculation and gossip.

    "But did you have to choose someone that much younger than yourself? And a girl like that?"

    "Why, Rachel," he noted, grinning, "do I detect a spot of temper?"

    She colored slightly, but unloaded her convoluted feelings at last. "I used to get so angry with you for ... for cheapening yourself that way. There were times when I wanted to smack you in the head and ask you just what in the world you were trying to prove! And you realize, don't you, that you left me open to questioning, with all your antics. People remembered that we were practically born and raised together, and they'd come up to me and ask the most embarrassing questions, as if I still kept tabs on you."

    "Apparently you did."                97

    "Don't get smug, and stop trying to evade the issue. I asked you why in the world you got tangled up with somebody like Sue Ann Higgenbotham."

    "Chasing after my own youth, I guess. Trying to find it with somebody who was as young as I wished I was."

    "But you were young." She leaned forward earnestly. "You were only thirty-five, Tommy Lee."

    Again her recordkeeping struck him, but he made no issue of it. "Rachel, I've felt old since I was twenty-one, fresh out of college, marrying some woman because it was the acceptable thing to do."

    "That was different. She was your own age, and you were starting out together. With Sue Ann I always had the feeling you were throwing her in your parents' faces."

    "How could I throw her in their faces when we weren't even talking to each other?"

    "You know what I mean. Flaunting her, choosing the worst woman the town had to offer. They were just as aware of what a mess you were making of your life as everyone else in Russellville. Through the years I've often felt you came back to do it

    under their noses just to humiliate them."

    He pondered, studying her steady eyes. "Maybe I did. God, I don't know. You as much as admitted there were times when you had the urge to get even with your parents, too."

    "Yes. Times. But I wasn't raised that way, Tommy Lee, and neither were you. I realize they were as fallible as anybody else. They made their decision because they loved me and thought it was best for me."

    There was a stern edge to his voice and his brows drew downward. "But it wasn't, Rachel, was it?"

    Her heart thundered heavily as she met Tommy Lee's eyes and wondered if her own disillusionment showed as