Free Skin Deep by Katie Blu Page A

rubbed her forehead. “You might. You’ve fallen in love with your son and because he’s part of me, I can understand that you’d love me for bringing him into the world. In love the way two people need to be in order to have a lasting relationship with that child, isn’t the same thing.”
    “How can you believe it’s possible that I’m in love with my son so quickly, but I couldn’t possibly fall in love with you just as fast?” Hotch asked.
    Toby babbled softly, resting his head on Hotch’s shoulder while Toby played with his own wiggly fingers.
    “Adult love is different. If anyone knows that, my father does. Don’t you, Dad?” she said, drawing him back into the conversation.
    “Marriage isn’t the answer.” Her father’s words sounded clipped and final.
    “For once we agree,” she mused.
    “Don’t give up on us,” Hotch insisted. “There’s time. I’m being recalled. You and Toby have time to settle in here, take a breather while you figure things out and have everything you need taken care of. If not for me, for your mom who lives nearby and for your dad who’ll come home too.”
    It was a generous offer. Having her mother near, the base for work and daycare, and the home as a perk of Hotch’s career would definitely afford her time to clear her thoughts and make a plan. The house would be empty anyway, and living rent-free would give her time to figure out what she wanted to do.
    “I’ll stay,” she agreed. “I make no promises that there’ll be anything between us when you get back.”
    Hotch nodded his understanding, though he seemed a bit defeated. “I understand.”
    “Stay away from my men, Erin. All of them. When Hotch and I return, you move out. Move in with me or your mother, but don’t shack up with another man from my team.” Commander Hawking insisted.
    Erin frowned. These past two weeks had been monumental for firsts. However the prospect of standing up to him one more time, made her insides shudder with fear. Telling the commander to back down was scary. He might be a bloated jackass sometimes, but he was still her daddy. She was still his baby girl and no matter what she said, his approval meant everything to her.
    Her mouth had gone cottony and her joints trembled. Some things required saying. He didn’t have any qualms about battering her with words, so why did telling him how she felt as an adult and a mother make her blood pressure soar? Nothing was ever easy with the commander. Nothing would ever be easy with him.
    “Daddy, I love you, and I will never be one of your men. Barking orders at the team will get you what you want every time. Barking them at your family gets you lonely. I’ll do whatever I need to for my son. Whatever I need to do for me. I wish you’d support my decisions and love me anyway, but your approval isn’t required. Please leave. Hotch and I have a lot to talk about and you’re not helping.”
    Toby began to fuss. His jaw tensed as he tried to grind his four teeth together and his eyes filled with tears.
    “Hotch, he’s hungry. Would you feed him some cereal? Do you remember how to make it?” she asked.
    Hotch nodded. “C’mon, big guy. Let’s find some of that yummy peach cereal your mom makes you.”
    Toby sobbed with a combination of relief and desperation. She knew his sounds well. So close to food, yet not able to eat it and finally understood enough to know it was coming. It put a smile on her face as she watched Toby and Hotch retreat to the kitchen.
    “You’re making a mistake,” her father said. “These guys are on most of the time. They don’t hang on to relationships and they come back marked.”
    “I know. My father is one of those guys,” she reminded him unnecessarily.
    “It’s different. An officer is removed from battle. They’re in the thick of it.”
    “I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have baggage. Besides, I don’t know what I’m going to do yet.”
    Her father took another step closer to her