Free Skin Deep by Katie Blu

to subordination. She has the privilege of being heard, something you pride yourself on among your team. Doesn’t she deserve at least that much respect?”
     
    “Respect?” her dad shouted.
    Toby wailed.
    Hotch rescued Toby and absently snuggled him as he rubbed his son’s back. “Sir, you’re upsetting my son. Take it down a notch or leave.”
    She looked at Hotch, as though seeing him for the first time. He was everything Nebraska had said he was. He was brave, strong, confident, sure. He was also what Nebraska had failed to mention in his notes: He had the capacity to love deeper than he seemed to acknowledge. That’s what had frustrated her so much the night before. In that light, it had driven her nuts. But in light of seeing him with Toby as the protective father, standing by her side and fighting her fight? Hotch amazed her.
    “Are you telling your Commanding Officer to stand down?” Her father bellowed.
    Erin’s pulse leaped. She hated it when her dad yelled, but yelling by her baby and yelling at Hotch, it felt like the fledgling walls of her little family would crumble at any moment. Dad had been this angry with her the day she left home.
    “Respectfully, I am, sir,” Hotch answered calmly.
    “He won’t listen,” Erin interrupted. “He never has where I’m concerned.”
    “You slept with my team,” her father thundered.
    Erin put a shaking hand on Hotch’s arm as she stepped around him to face off with her father. Hotch stayed alert, apparently ready to defend her if she needed it. Erin stood strong, but her father was a battleaxe of a commanding officer who fathered the way he led. Over the years, she’d seen the bravest men back down in the face of his fury.
    It was time for a little honesty, she decided.
    “You’re right, Dad. When I was eighteen, I wanted to piss you off. You never listened to me and mom. You don’t think I knew that you blamed her for not giving you a son? I knew. How could I not? You looked at Skins with the pride of a father, the way Hotch looks at Toby. But you never saw me that way.”
    Hotch shot her a sidelong glance, but she kept her attention on her father. She’d explain to Hotch later how great she thought he was.
    “You slept with my team,” her dad emphasized. “What kind of respect did you think that would garner, young lady?”
    “I was eighteen. That may be the reason you choose to keep me at a distance, but it doesn’t explain why you waited those eighteen years to form an opinion of me and then latched onto the first negative thing I offered up.”
    “You certainly offered up a lot. I heard them talk about you, Erin.” Her father’s voice rasped with emotion and his gaze flicked away.
    To a man like her father his pride and his authority were everything. She knew that she’d struck a blow all those years ago. It wasn’t until now, when she had a child of her own, that she thought she finally understood.
    “I’m sorry I hurt you, Dad,” Erin whispered. “Mom and I tried to hold it together when you were gone. But when you were home—Dad, you still weren’t here .”
    “I put a roof over your heads and made sure you have everything you needed to lead a good life,” he protested gruffly.
    “Except you, Dad. We didn’t have you.” She turned to Hotch. “You’re an amazing guy, Hotch. You really are, but you SEALs are married to your lives in the military. I watched my parents’ marriage fall apart because of the stress, and I experienced what it’s like to be a by-blow of an absent naval officer and a civilian. I want more for Toby.”
    “The Navy has good marriages too, Erin,” Hotch pointed out. “Your experience sucked. I can see how bad it hurt you, but we aren’t your parents.”
    “How blind are you? At least my parents started out in a loving marriage. You’re asking me to marry you when we don’t even have that much in common?” she asked in disbelief.
    “I do love you,” Hotch contradicted.
    Erin sighed. She