Free Never Enough by Ashley Johnson

but accidently brush against them, but then it began getting really awkward. One day he walked in the bathroom and tried to kiss me and began trying to raise my shirt up but my mom walked in the front door and he slid out before she even noticed anything.” I stopped to take a breath and looked at him. He sat patiently listening and never let go of my hand. I started talking again. “I tried to talk to her privately and let her know what he was trying to do but she wouldn’t hear it. He just wouldn’t do such a thing is what she would say. You’re practically his daughter I can’t believe you.” Deep breath. “He kept trying with the small passes and she always walked in and he would stop, but one day I was in my room texting Halley. School hadn’t started yet but we had our dorm mate assignments so we exchanged numbers and began getting to know one another. He came in and locked the door behind him.” I had to stop for a second to try to control the tears that had begun welling up again. He squeezed my hand gently and I got the strength to finish. “He walked up to me and pushed me down on the bed and he took my pants off and ripped my shirt off. He was so strong, I couldn’t push him off. I tried so hard. I tried to aim for his balls to kick him, I tried everything I could. I screamed as loud as I could manage but no one heard. No neighbors or anything. He raped me that night. That’s when I really started drinking. It was the only way to numb what was happening. I wished it were some gruesome nightmare. I sat in the hot shower as long as I could manage that night and cried til I was out of tears. It happened a few more times over that year. She never believed me. I wanted to die every time he walked in. There were a few times I actually contemplated whether or not taking my life would be easier or not. One day I finally called Gary and he told me if I left he could pick me up and I could stay with him. I left everything behind. I didn’t want anything from that house. That’s why I’m here. Obviously I never moved in with Gary because I lived in the dorm but he was my backup plan so that I never had to go back to that house ever again.”
    I searched his face for any expression that might show he would laugh at me or leave, but instead he wiped the tears from my face and replied, “Macy, I’m so sorry. I know that wasn’t easy for you. You didn’t have to tell me.”
    “I know, but eventually you’d need to know. I didn’t want to keep hiding it from you and lie. I understand if you never want to see me again.” I choked the words out because there was the possibility when he walked out this door he wouldn’t be back.
    “Why would I never want to see you again? Because of some sick pervert? That’s not your fault.”
    “I should have left sooner.” I was crying again unable to hold the tears back and he kissed my forehead trying to offer some sort of comfort.
    “You wanted her to believe you. I mean that’s your mom. I don’t blame you. Don’t blame yourself, it’s not your fault. I’ve got you, I’m here don’t worry.” He sounded very convincing but I was too nervous to let my guard down.
    I practically snorted in his face, “I’m screwed up Trevor. What do you want with me?”
    “I don’t care about your past Macy. All I care about is now and the future. The rest of that doesn’t matter. We’re here now in this moment and it’s all that counts.” A few stray tears were falling and he kissed my cheeks where they lay against my fair skin. I sunk down and laid my head in his lap and he ran his fingers through my hair and before I fell asleep I swore I heard him say everything was going to be ok.
    When I awoke I noticed Trevor had fallen asleep too. Wait, he was still here? He heard everything and he was still here. I maneuvered the best I could to not wake him. I grabbed a shirt and some shorts and hurried and got out of the bathrobe I realized I was still wearing. He looked so