admired her. “You look beautiful, Leah. I’m so proud of you, princess.” He’d hugged her, and she felt the warmth and security of that moment even to this day.
Melancholy shoved through her as she remembered also that there would never be any more hugs from her father. He was gone and nothing could bring him back. This wretched place had stolen him from her.
Short, huffy breaths whooshed between her clenched teeth. She yanked the combs from her hair and put them back into her jewelry box where she couldn’t see them anymore. The reminder of who gave them to her hurt too much.
Without warning, the image of her father gasping for air invaded her thoughts. She slapped her hand over her mouth to stifle the scream the unwelcome intruder regurgitated. Gurgling sounds of her father trying to draw breath flooded her ears. She pressed her hands over them to snuff the ghastly noise from her anguished soul. But neither the image nor the sound stopped.
The urge to scream once again siphoned up her esophagus. She wanted to let it out. To yell at the ugly things attacking her to leave her alone, but she couldn’t— Her family would hear her.
She pinched her eyes shut and swallowed hard as if that would somehow make everything better. When that didn’t work, she leaned over, placed her hands on her knees and drew in several long breaths, exhaling slowly each time until finally the grisly images and sounds faded, and the jitters ceased. Having won that battle, she straightened and pressed her shoulders back. Ghosts of the past would not ruin her evening. Chin up, she headed downstairs.
“Oh, Lee-Lee. You look beautiful.” Abby glanced over her.
“You look pretty gorgeous yourself, Abbs.” The yellow cotton frock layered with white lace on the bodice, skirt and neck brought out the yellow highlights in her sister’s hair. Abby had done an incredible job on that dress. What an excellent seamstress she turned out to be. Leah was so proud of her baby sister.
“Well, look at my girls.” They both turned toward the sound of their mother’s voice. “You both look so lovely. Oh.” She pressed her finger on her lip. “That won’t do. You girls had better go up and change. You’ll outshine the bride, and we can’t have that now, can we?”
“Oh, Mother.” Leah waved her off and beamed under her praise. “You’re so sweet. But I’m certain we, as in the three of us, won’t ‘outshine’ the bride. Trust me. Wait until you see her.”
“Yes, Mother.” Abby cupped her fisted hand under her chin, batted her eyes and sighed dramatically. “It’s the most beautiful gown ever, and Phoebe looks absolutely fabulous in it.”
“What a silly goose you are, Abbynormal.” Leah shook her head at her sister. “You are so dramatic.”
“Yeah. But you love me.”
“I sure do.” She pulled Abby into a hug.
“Okay, ladies. We’d better go or we’ll be late.” Mother gathered her wrap and picked up the gloves that matched her simple yet elegant blue silk dress. “I hope you girls don’t mind, but with Jess and Hannah and Haydon and Rainee having full wagonloads already, I accepted Mr. Barker’s offer to come and pick us up.”
Leah’s excitement plummeted to her button-up shoes.
“We don’t mind. Do we, Leah?” Abby beamed.
Leah wished she shared her sister’s enthusiasm over her mother’s growing friendship with Mr. Barker, but she didn’t, and she minded—a lot. The idea of Mother sitting next to someone who wasn’t her father bothered Leah enormously. Mother was lonely, that Leah knew, and she hated feeling so selfish. She tried not to think only of herself, but the idea drove through her heart like a railroad spike being plunged into the hard ground.
“Leah.” Mother laid a gloved hand on her arm. “You don’t mind, do you? If you do, I will have one of the hands get the surrey ready.”
Despite how she felt, Leah did what she always did—suppressed her true feelings to spare hurting