Free Daughters of the Doge by Edward Charles

that they trusted me and that I was to be included in their future plans, I wondered just what I was becoming involved in. Why did it have to be thus? Why did there have to be intrigues and lies and obfuscation?
    I returned to my walk around the city. For the first half-hour I found myself looking over my shoulder to see if I was being followed, but then I decided I was being silly and stopped.
    I reviewed the earlier discussion. First, I did believe that Queen Mary’s reign was a disaster for my country, and yes, I would do what I could to change it. Furthermore I agreed with the others that Princess Elizabeth was the right choice to replace Queen Mary, and I accepted that Mary’s natural death would probably have to be the event which brought about the change.
    I also accepted that involvement in such a big game was fraught with risks and that, although my life was not in great danger as long as I remained outside England, by participating in this (what was it – ‘plot’, or ‘arrangement’?) I was increasing that risk.
    I knew that Courtenay was totally unreliable, and although I found it impossible to criticize Thomas Marwood, I could see that it would be unwise to tell him anything about our discussion.
    So why did I feel so uncomfortable?
    A cold wind was starting to pick up and I decided to seek shelter in the Basilica di Sant’ Antonio. The calm of the interior allowed me to think. In the end, I was left with only one conclusion: my head accepted the logic of everything we had agreed to do. It was my heart that felt uncomfortable with the idea of keeping secrets, of living a lie.
    I walked back out into the Piazza del Duomo, with part of my puzzle solved. Now I knew what it was that troubled me. The next question was what to do about it. Still uncertain, I walked back towards the university and our inn. What would Lady Jane have said? I did not have to walk far before her reply caught up with me: ‘You know what is right, and it is your duty to fight for what is right.’
    I smiled to myself. Why did I even need to ask? She would not have contemplated any compromise over an issue as fundamental as this. And what of my discomfort at living a lie?
    ‘Learn to live with life’s discomforts. Grow up. You are a man now. Think like one. Live like one.’
    I looked up at the clear blue sky and nodded my thanks. Was she there, watching me? In truth I didn’t know, but, as Walsingham had said this morning, why take a risk you don’t have to take? I would accept Lady Jane’s advice, as I always had.

 
    C HAPTER 14
     
    January the 26th 1556 – Brenta Canal and Laguna Veneta
     
    After seemingly endless travelling, our stay in Padua had been wonderful. Thomas had virtually disappeared into the Department of Medicine at the university, meeting old friends, borrowing books and attending lectures. On the few occasions we did meet for supper, he seemed like a man rejuvenated, and it was such a pleasure to see him so.
    Courtenay seemed to spend most of his time with the diplomatic set, and appeared to be developing a close friendship with Peter Vannes. After Walsingham’s warning, that worried me. I had no faith in the earl’s judgement and I could imagine a seasoned diplomat quietly getting Courtenay to tell him everything he knew. That did not concern me personally, as I had always been careful to keep my personal views and activities from the earl, but I did begin to wonder whether Vannes had, as Walsingham had surmised during our conversation, been given instructions from London to keep close to Courtenay.
    I had met and talked to Cheke once or twice since our first meeting. Most of our conversation had been about old times. Talking of Lady Jane was a pleasure, but it always left me feeling depressed afterwards. The memories were still too close and too raw.
    It was time to move on, however. None of us had wanted to leave Padua but, knowing we must, we had decided to leave early. As a result, it was not more