Free Slide (Black Addiction #1) by T. Gephart

the toilet.
    And with my clean, fresh and slightly less manic brain running the show, I’d decided if I was going down in a blaze of glory, it was going to be on my own terms. Thelma and Louise style. No one puts baby in the corner. Or if they did, she certainty didn’t have to stay there. I really wished I’d paid more attention to pop culture movies; they seemed like they might have been helpful, or at least I’d get my references straight. Never mind. I was doing this. And I’d be damned if I didn’t go down swinging.
    ***
    Finding a job should have been my first priority, or failing that, a new place to live. Two very good options. Instead, I went with option number three.
    Leaving my apartment.
    It wasn’t going to solve anything, but neither was sitting around obsessing about the series of unfortunate events that was my life. I’d been there, done that, had the souvenir T-shirt annnnnnnnd I was still no better off. My method of dealing was clearly flawed. I needed a new plan.
    That’s what last night had been about. Oh, sure my delusions of freaky, unrestrained sex with Rusty were no longer in play—not that sleeping with him wouldn’t have softened the blow. But my main objective now wasn’t about getting horizontal. Insanity, I know.
    It was living up to the list of awesome he had so generously helped me compile that was my main focus. Something that I had all but forgotten this morning when I left, the fragments of the conversation returning now my back was up against the wall. God, I wished I could be more like him. His carefree disposition and confidence would have been an asset. One I could have desperately used.
    My pulse raced as I stepped out into the street, my destination not immediately clear but my common sense had sailed right out the window with each passing second.
    It was Rusty who dominated my scattered thoughts; my brain auto-directing back to him whenever I was about to panic. The reasons why weren’t immediately clear. Was it his calmness, his lack of give-a-fuck that I craved? Maybe it was that he was by far the nicest guy I’d ever met and I just wanted to get to know him better? Who knew? But other than waking up confused and slightly embarrassed, the night with him had been one of my most honest and comforting nights in . . . well in a long time. There was something about him, his energy, his . . . I was really trying hard not to think his cock because that wouldn’t be helpful right now but I just knew there was something about him that I couldn’t discount. It wasn’t even entirely physical, and I just knew I had to see him again. Even if it made it worse, I was willing to take the risk.
    My feet moved aimlessly without direction; the store windows I passed not providing anything more than fodder for my already churning mind. I didn’t even have to look where I was going, able to navigate my neighborhood purely by memory. The eyes instead inadvertently darting across the street when I caught sight of Rusty slowly emerging from a tiny corner bodega.
    My heart skipped a beat like it always did but this time it was more than just the view I was admiring. My insider knowledge added an additional reason for my heart to swoon. Whether or not it was a good idea to see him so soon was quickly tossed around in my head before my feet made the decision for me.
    Without crossing a busy intersection into oncoming traffic, or screaming his name at the top of my lungs—both of which I considered—I got my legs moving quickly as I power walked to the crosswalk not far from where I’d been standing.
    My hand pumped the button, willing the light to change as I watched him disappear into a drug store further down the road. Crap. Please don’t leave’s were mumbled under my breath as the light finally changed. With my heart in my throat, I sprinted across the street to the other side just in time to see him leave the drug store and wander further down the street. This time into a small