Free Frozen Hearts (Beyond Reality Book 3) by Susan Stoker Page B

wasn’t weird. It wasn’t creepy. It was awesome. He totally got that she didn’t want know what to say to his intimate words. He didn’t push. He didn’t insist she talk to him. He’d just changed the subject back to something light. They played the game for a while until she was so tired she couldn’t stay awake anymore.
    “This is nice,” she said sleepily, losing the battle to stay awake. She was so comfortable.
    “Thi s i s nice.” Jonathan whispered back. “Sleep, hon. I’ll be right here.”
    Kina smiled and fell asleep immediately.
     
    * * *
     
    Kina slowly came aware of her surroundings. It was still mostly dark outside and she couldn’t understand what had woken her.
    “No! Becky? Where are you? No!”
    Kina suddenly remembered where she was and who she was with. She could feel Jonathan thrashing in the throes of a nightmare beside her.
    “Becky?” he yelled louder, obviously distraught.
    Kina put her hand on his chest. “It’s okay, wake up, Jonathan.” She spoke firmly, trying to break the grip the dream had on him.
    “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Jonathan sobbed, still stuck in whatever he was seeing in his dream world.
    “Jonathan,” Kina said more firmly. “Wake up.”
    After saying his name a few more times Kina saw his eyes open in the dim morning light and the bleakness she saw there made her gasp.
    Jonathan shut his eyes tightly. Crap. He’d had the damn dream again. He’d hoped he’d put it behind him, but it was obvious he hadn’t.
    “Talk to me,” Kina said quietly, rubbing her hand over his chest soothingly.
    Jonathan wanted nothing more than to get up and pace, to get away from the sympathy he could see in her eyes in the minimal light in the tent. Could he let her in? Was it too soon? Would she think badly of him? He knew he had to tell her, he’d just hoped it would be later.
    Without opening his eyes, he put his hand over his face and scrubbed. “I’m not sure this is the right time to tell you,” he told Kina honestly.
    “If not now, when?” she asked stubbornly. She put her hand over his, resting on his face. “You said I was yours, I think I want that as well, but you have to talk to me. You have to let me in.”
    Crap. She was right. Jonathan knew Kina was right, but this was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do in his life. He hoped like hell she wouldn’t look at him differently when he was done. His entire life felt like it was at stake. If she rejected him he didn’t know what he’d do.
    “You know what happened to Becky, my brother’s wife, right?”
    Kina simply said, “Yes, you know I do.”
    “I could have prevented it,” Jonathan said bleakly, laying it right out there.
    “Jonathan, you told me that before. I didn’t believe it then and I don’t believe it now.”
    He interrupted her before she could say anything else. He had to get this out all in one shot or he’d never be able to get through it.
    “It’s true. I went to the hotel that night. I knew something was wrong. I don’t know how I knew it, I just did. I was worried about her. When the front desk clerk wouldn’t tell me what room she was in, I let it go. He’d only connect me to her room via the phone and she didn’t answer. I just left. I should’ve insisted. I should’ve called the police or something. I should’ve done more to find her. I left her there, for those men to hurt her.” Jonathan said in anguish. “I left her there,” he said again, in a whisper.
    Kina came up on an elbow and leaned over Jonathan, getting in his face so he couldn’t ignore her words. “It wasn’t your fault, Jonathan.”
    When he didn’t say anything she knew she wasn’t getting to him. She tried a different tactic. “What did Becky say? Does she blame you?” When he didn’t answer she continued. “What about your brother? Does he blame you for what happened to his woman? Did he tell you it was your fault?”
    “No,” Jonathan said softly.
    “Why don’t you believe