Free Firstlife by Gena Showalter Page B

power and, someone please help me, I admire it.
    Later that same evening, Vans does as promised and arranges my “date” with Killian. The doc is upping his game.
    First, Nurse Ratched delivers a dress to my cell. A pink sundress. Pink. With ruffles and lace. I grimace. I’ll be the prettiest princess in the asylum.
    Her parting words are both a threat (to me) and a triumph (to her.) “You can wear it...or you can go naked. Your choice.”
    A red haze descends over my vision. A choice that isn’t really a choice is a violation of my rights.
    What rights?
    â€œWow,” Bow says, looking me over after I’ve changed. “A make-out session would not be out of pity today.”
    â€œUm. Thanks?” I smooth my hands over the ultrasoft fabric. “I feel ridiculous.”
    â€œWhat’s the occasion?”
    As I explain today’s therapy session, her eyes narrow.
    â€œSon of a Myriad-troll,” she mutters. She’s sprawled atop her bed. “Wonder how much Mr. Flynn had to pay for that privilege.”
    I spread my arms wide. “Because wanting me is completely unfeasible?”
    She closes her eyes as she shakes her head. “Sorry. Sorry. You’re hot. You’re awesome, and I know he craves a taste of you. Who wouldn’t? But he’s a piece of scum, and he always has ulterior motives.”
    A grumbled apology, but an apology nonetheless.
    â€œYou’re forgiven. I guess.” I mean, even I’m wondering why Killian has turned his predatory sights to me. “Tell me your history with the guy.”
    She growls low in her throat. “He sucks. That’s all you need to know.”
    This girl has repeatedly pried open my secrets with a crowbar. She doesn’t get to keep her own. “Don’t you want to help me build extra defenses against him?”
    â€œAre your current defenses in danger of crumbling?”
    No. Absolutely not. But... “Do you really want to take the chance? There’s something about him...”
    She points a finger at me. “Is that breathlessness I hear in your tone, Lockwood?”
    What? “No!” Me? Breathless? Never! “I’m as hard as steel.”
    She punches her mattress, the springs squeaking. “You want details, fine. He stabbed his best friend in the back—twice! He’s selfish and cruel. He uses girls to get what he wants, and then he discards them.”
    â€œAre you one of the girls he used and discarded?” I ask gently.
    â€œNo! Gross! I’ve never jonesed for his scones.” She shudders. “It’s just...he’ll sleep with you and leave you brokenhearted in the rubble that has become your life.”
    Bow, who is obviously biased, has probably seen a distorted version of the truth. She’s never seen into Killian’s heart.
    Or maybe I’m making excuses for the guy.
    â€œIf getting down and dirty is his main objective, I’m the last girl he should target.” I possessed the common sense and wherewithal to stop James every time his hands wandered past my shoulders, and I loved him.
    And unlike Killian, James looked at me as if he adored me. He smiled with me, not at me. He whispered beautiful things in my ear...
    So lovely.
    So soft.
    So perfect.
    I’d been as mesmerized as I was flustered.
    â€œI’ll never say yes,” I add.
    â€œFamous last words. If you find yourself tempted, remember Killian is selfish in bed,” Bow says, as smoothly as if we’re discussing our favorite kind of donuts. “Oh. And I hear he’s small. Like, micropenis small.”
    I roll my eyes. “Can you tell me something about him that doesn’t have anything to do with sex?”
    â€œAll right. For starters, he’s going into this thinking you’re going to fall for him and do anything to spend eternity with him.”
    â€œWhy does he even care? He’s human. If I sign with Myriad to be with