Free Crazy Little Thing by Saxon Bennett, Layce Gardner

said. She quickly reached
across the table, grabbed the margarita pitcher, yelled, “Chug it!” threw her
head back and tipped it over her opened mouth.
    “My God!” Ollie yelped. She grabbed the pitcher away
from Claire and thrust it into G-Ray’s hands. Ice-cold margarita slush spilled
down the front of Claire’s shirt.
    Claire’s eyes widened. “Woooooo… that’s cold.” She
looked down at her sopping wet shirt. “Look how hard my nippy wippies are.”
    Ollie grabbed Claire and dragged her toward the
door. Claire was still talking about her nipples, “They’re so hard they could
cut glass.” She yelled at the people in front of her that were blocking the door,
“Make way! Make way for lady with pokey nippy wippies!” She erupted into
laughter and Ollie shoved her out the door and onto the hotel’s pool grounds.

The Fur Flies
     
    Outside wasn’t much better than inside. Ollie looked
around and saw the Furries were thronged around the pool. Where were they all
coming from? It was if they were procreating exponentially. Maybe Furries were
like Gremlins - you couldn’t let them near water or feed them after midnight.
    Oh, no. Where was Claire? Ollie had lost her in the
all the fur. She found an empty chair poolside - thank God the Furries’ tails
prohibited them from sitting - dragged it out from under the umbrella and stood
on it. She shielded her eyes with her hand like a pirate looking for land and
scoured the waves of fur. She saw a head of brown hair bob up and down. Claire,
ahoy!
    Ollie watched in horror as Claire grabbed a drink
out of a purple horse’s hoof and gulped it before handing the empty glass back.
    “Claire!” Ollie yelled. “Claire!”
    Claire moved deeper into the sea of fur and Ollie lost
sight of her.
    Oh, wait a minute, there she was. Claire’s head
bobbed up and down, up and down, over the sea of fur, under the sea, over and
under, over and under. “Claire! Look up!”
    Claire must have heard Ollie because she stopped and
looked right at her. She smiled brightly and waved. Ollie waved back. “Claire
come back over here right this minute!” My God, she sounded just like Scarlet.
    Claire shook her head. “How did you get to be so
tall? Did you grow like Alice in Wonderland?”
    “I’m standing on a chair!”
    “You’re funny!” Claire bellowed. She drunkenly
tapped a Skunk on the shoulder and said, “See that extremely tall woman over
there? That’s my wife!”
    “How very nice for you,” Skunk drawled.
    “No,” Claire retorted, “it’s not nice. We’re getting
divorced.”
    Claire stumbled backwards and for a moment Ollie
couldn’t see her. When Claire reappeared she was walking backwards out onto the
diving board. She stopped halfway out and wobbled. She stuck her arms straight
out to her sides and made tiny clockwise circles in the air to keep her
balance. “I’m walking on a tightrope! Look at me!” Claire yelled joyfully.
    “Claire! Don’t move!” Ollie yelled. “I’ll be right
there.”
    Ollie jumped down and shoved her way through the
mosh pit of fur. “Out of my way, out of my way,” she said, pushing her way
through the mob. She ran out onto the diving board but when she got there,
Claire was nowhere to be seen.
    “Claire?” Ollie turned in a circle but still no
Claire. She looked down at the water.
    “Up here!”
    Ollie looked straight up.
    “No, silly, over here!”
    Ollie followed the sound of Claire’s voice and saw
her standing on the same chair that Ollie had been standing on. Good God, they
had switched positions. “What are you doing over there?”
    Ollie noticed that Claire had yet another drink in
her hand. She had probably snatched it from some poor unsuspecting soul.
    “Know what this reminds me of, Ollie? The last time
I saw you in a pool! Remember that?” Claire shouted over the tops of the fur
throng.
    “How could I forget?” Ollie shouted back. Uh oh,
Ollie thought, she didn’t like that look on Claire’s face. It