Free Anastasia by Carolyn Meyer Page B

the paper vanished. In Moscow a great mob was calling for the tsar to give up his throne and turn it over to Grand Duke Nicholas Nicholaievitch. I do understand now why Mama dislikes the commander-in-chief, but what I don’t understand is what people could have against Papa.
    29 May/11 June 1915
    Mama has a letter from Aunt Ella in Moscow. She says that mobs broke into a piano store and began throwing grand pianos out of the windows because they had been made by German companies.
    Then an angry crowd went to the Convent of Martha and Mary, which Aunt Ella founded many years ago after her husband was killed. They accused Aunt Ella of hiding our uncle Erni there, which is ridiculous, because of course he’s in Germany. She did as Mama would have done and bravely faced them down, even though someone threw a big stone at her.
    It’s Tatiana’s birthday. She’s eighteen. I gathered some flowers for her and put them by her plate at breakfast, and Anya has invited us for tea tomorrow.
    5/18 June 1915
    Today is my fourteenth birthday. On the day before my birthday last year, I wrote, “Tomorrow is the day that everything will change. If I keep saying that, I’m sure it will.” What I meant was, everything would get better .
    I know it’s wicked of me to complain, because Mama, Papa, and Tatiana have all had birthdays in the past few weeks, and they never complain.
    I got a beautiful diamond for my necklace. In two years it will be complete, and I’ll have a lovely party like Olga’s. Tatiana and Mashka will have theirs when the war is over. Mama has promised.
    But here’s what I wanted: a ride in the country in Monsieur Gilliard’s automobile. But Monsieur Gilliard says it’s too dangerous and promises that next year I’ll get my wish. That’s what everybody says, “Next year, Anastasia Nicholaievna.”
    To which I say: Faugh! (I don’t say
Pfui
anymore, because it’s German.)
    14/27 June 1915
    Mashka’s birthday, her sixteenth. She got the last diamond needed for her necklace.
    26 June/9 July 1915
    Papa has been home for a week, and he’s very restless. He says that only when he’s with the soldiers does he feel he’s helping to beat the filthy Germans. Mama, on the other hand, is glad to get him away from the grand duke. The rest of us are merely ecstatic to have him with us.
    4/17 July 1915
    We had tea today at Anya’s house. She uses crutches or a wheelchair to get about, but at least she’s alive. She invited some of the officers to join us, including Mashka’s Kolya. They gaze at each other like sick puppies. I can hardly stand to watch them.
    23 July/5 August 1915
    Terrible news. We were having tea on the balcony, where Mama likes to sit in the open air, and Papa came out of his study. He was trembling so badly he could hardly stand. We all stared at him.
    “Warsaw has fallen,” he said, and sat down sobbing. “It cannot go on like this,” he repeated over and over, his head buried in his hands.
    I’ve never seen Papa in such a state. Naturally, I burst into tears, too. I didn’t have to look at a map to see why this loss is so important. Warsaw is the capital of the part of Poland that belongs to Russia.
    30 July/12 August 1915
    Today is Alexei’s eleventh birthday. We tried to make it a happy day for him, with all his favorite foods (he can’t get enough blini) and a pile of new toys — mostly wooden guns and toy soldiers. When he is well, he marches around the park with a gun over his shoulder, and when he’s ill he lines up the lead soldiers on his bedcovers and fights mock battles.
    Even while we were celebrating, we could tell that Papa and Mama are worried and distracted. But what can anyone do?
    8/21 August 1915
    Two days ago Papa and Mama made a private trip to Petrograd with only a few aides. When they came back, they told us they had been praying for guidance before the tombs of the tsars.
    As a result, Papa has decided to take over as commander-in-chief, in place of Grand Duke