Free Anastasia by Carolyn Meyer

I’m pretty sure she’ll want us to share the fate of the Russian people. If they have to do without butter, then so will we.
    3/16 February 1915
    The Great Fast began yesterday. As usual, I spent time with Anya Vyrubova. She’s very easy to entertain, as long as we talk about Father Grigory. She’s convinced he’s a saint. Mama believes it, too, because Alexei always gets better when Father Grigory prays over him. Anya also believes Father Grigory has a divine purpose: that God sent him to save our family and all of Holy Russia. She says that only God knows how.
    He does not smell as bad as he used to ( stink is a better word), but he still makes me feel very strange. I want so much to talk to Mashka about him, and to ask her what she thinks, but I don’t dare.
    5/18 February 1915
    Well, I did dare to ask Mashka what she thinks about Father Grigory. She looked at me with her big blue eyes and said, “But he is a saint!” Then she said that if he smells nasty and has dirty fingernails and looks at us in that way he does, as though he can see straight into our souls, it’s because God is testing our faith.
    Dear Mashka, she is so good! I must be evil to my very bones, because I do not like this man , no matter what anyone says.
    13/26 February 1915
    Papa left today for
Stavka
, and we are all feeling very sad — especially Alexei. But Papa was in a jolly mood, full of optimism for the spring offensive. Two million new recruits are headed for the front lines — enough, surely, to bring victory soon.
    18 February/3 March 1915
    Our tutors insist that we study geography. Every morning we stare at maps of Russia, especially west of the Ural Mountains, as well as of Hungary and Austria and Poland, where the fighting is going on. We have bunches of little pins, white for the Russian army, black for the Germans, yellow for the Austrians, and so on, and when we have news of their location in the war, we move the pins around on the map.
    And while we wait for news, we still have our exercises in math, English, French, etc. As if it matters.
    21 February/6 March 1915
    Alexei came up with a brilliant idea — using Papa’s bathing pool while Papa is away. Not to be outdone, I insisted that we girls also be allowed to use the bathing pool as well. So Mama wrote to Papa and got his permission, and in we went. And it was such fun! We had a terrific time, jumping into the water and swimming around. Why haven’t we thought of it before?
    23 February/8 March 1915
    We’re attacking the Austrian province of Galicia. I know exactly where it is — it used to be part of Poland — and moved our pins.
    25 February/10 March 1915
    Poor Mama! I feel so sad for her. Since November she has had a close attachment to a young soldier in her care at the hospital. Often he was entirely off his head and sometimes thought she was his mother or an angel or both. He died this morning, and we all wept for him. His name was Ivan, and he was exactly Olga’s age.
    3/16 March 1915
    Father Grigory is here, speaking privately with Mama. She says she needs his advice on keeping things running smoothly with Papa away at
Stavka
.
    6/19 March 1915
    Ha! Victory! Lots of prisoners and guns taken at a fortress in Galicia. Alexei knows the numbers of each, but I don’t. I’m happy just to move our white pins forward.
    Mama says Papa is very pleased with Grand Duke Nicholas Nicholaievitch, the commander-in-chief, and gave him a gold sword with a diamond-covered hilt to celebrate the grand victory. Mama speaks about it with her lips pressed into a thin line, so I can tell she doesn’t believe the grand duke deserves such a reward. For some reason, she doesn’t like him much.
    8/21 March 1915
    Anya Vyrubova is such a gossip! Thank goodness, because otherwise I would never know what’s happening. Mashka and I were playing duets for her (no German music, thank you!), and when we stopped for tea, Anya told us that she loathes Grand Duke Nicholas Nicholaievitch.