Free Romancing Snow White: A Prince Charmaine Story by Karen Kiefer

I

    Prince Charmaine was down on his luck. Completely, utterly and thoroughly down on his luck. For a man who had never been dumped before, he had certainly been dumped a lot lately! Aurora dumped him. Cydney dumped him. It seemed that every girl in the world was determined to rip his heart from his chest and smash it into smithereens.
    “ Why?!” he bellowed to the sky. “Why would ANYONE in their right mind want to break up with ME? I'm handsome.” He held up a finger. “Charming.” He held up another finger. “And downright perfect!” All his fingers shot up at once.
    Charmaine was strolling through the woods, which happened to be a favorite pastime of the lonely prince. He hoped to find a woodland damsel sitting among the trees. Daft beauties were often found wandering the woods, not unlike lonely princes.
    “ Well, I won't be lonely for long!” Charmaine declared. “Ladies love me. Everyone loves me. And most importantly... I love me!”
    Prince Charmaine was in luck. As it happened, there was a lovely damsel sitting in the clearing. Charmaine hid behind a tree, watching her. She had thick ebony hair, pale pink skin, and the most precious little mouth he had ever seen. Animals were flocking to her, and it was the strangest thing he had ever seen. She was surrounded by little bunnies and birdies, and a big, fat deer was eating a strawberry out of her hand.
    “ Well, that's entirely unfair! I want to eat strawberries out of her hand...” Charmaine whimpered to himself. “Maybe not after the deer touched her, though. Stupid, slobbery creature! She'll have to wash her hands, of course.”
    He must have spoken too loudly, because the animals scattered. Bunnies dashed for their holes at record-breaking speeds. The deer ran away so fast, it nearly tripped over its own wobbly legs. The dark-haired beauty looked incredibly disappointed by the fact that they abandoned her.
    “ Who's there?” her tiny voice cried out. “Is someone there?”
    “ Ahem.” Prince Charmaine stepped out from behind the tree with a hand on his hip. He tried to look as dashing as he possibly could. “Sorry to disturb you, my lady. I did not mean to frighten the animals.”
    “ It's alright,” she said. But she was pouting.
    Charmaine lifted his chin and turned his head ever-so-slightly, giving her a glimpse of his tanned, chiseled profile. I must look like Apollo right now , he thought to himself. But maybe he was giving Apollo too much credit? Not even a Greek god could be as handsome as Prince Charmaine!
    “ Lovely lady,” Charmaine spoke up. He rushed forward and took her by the hand. “Beautiful, lovely, breathtaking creature! Won't you give me your name?”
    “ My name?” she repeated.
    “ Yes. You were given one when you were born. It's what people call you?” He flashed a sarcastic grin.
    “ Bones says I shouldn't talk to strangers.”
    “ Bones?! Who is Bones?!” When she didn't answer, Charmaine took a deep breath and continued, “Well, we have been acquainted with each other for nearly sixty seconds! That hardly makes me a stranger! Please, give me your name!”
    “ Snow,” the beauty said. “Snow White.”
    “ Snow ?! Bones and now Snow ?!” Charmaine clicked his tongue a few times. “Where in the world am I!? Why do these people have such stupid names?!”
    Snow White pouted preciously. “That's not very nice!”
    “ Sorry... sorry !” Charmaine was quick to apologize. He wanted to woo her, not insult her! He needed to redouble his efforts and raise his game. “How very rude of me! Will you allow me to start over?”
    Snow took a strawberry from her basket and popped it into her mouth. “I guess so.”
    “ Snow White... I must say... I am absolutely captivated by your beauty!” Charmaine clasped a hand over his heart and threw back his head. “I have never seen a more perfect vision of loveliness! Your hair is onyx heaven, dripping from a midnight sky. Your eyes are like embers, burning my very