Free What the Lightning Sees: Part Three by Louise Bay Page A

with her. I don’t love her. I love you. I always knew that girls like her weren’t right for me. But being with you has woken me up to why—”
    “Please don’t make this harder. I just don’t think this is our time.” My throat constricted. I really didn’t want to cry. I needed to stay strong, to make sure Jake knew I was serious. “It’s less complicated to walk away now, while we’ve not been together long.” I blinked more and more rapidly, trying to stave off the tears. “Better that than—”
    “It doesn’t matter to me how long we’ve been together. When you know, you know. Clichés are clichés for a reason. You can’t tell me you don’t feel the same. You might not have said the words, but I know you. I own you.” Jake pulled me toward him. I let myself sink into him one last time.
    “You do and you always will, but I need to walk away.” I couldn’t tell him that part of the reason I needed to leave was so I didn’t live in constant fear that he was going to abandon me. I couldn’t live like that, waiting for him to leave me. If I told him, he’d say anything to persuade me that it wouldn’t happen. And I wanted to hear it all. I wanted to hear it too much, which was why I needed to go. I was in too deep already.
    “You can’t be serious, Haven. I can see you’re upset. You don’t want to walk away.”
    I realized I wasn’t going to convince him by telling him it was what was best for him. He had to see this was what I wanted. “I’m sorry. I do.” It was all I could manage. My resolve was wavering. His touch and his smell were pulling me toward him. I placed my hands on his chest and gently tried to create some space between us.
    “Haven, no. I’ll speak to Millie and say she can’t call unless it’s an emerg—”
    That’s when I knew I’d made the right decision. “Don’t you dare do that for me. You see how conflicted you are? You see how you are being pulled in different directions? I never want to feel that you prioritized me over your pregnant ex-girlfriend, but you’re right, part of me needs that from you. And that’s not fair. It’s not fair to you, Millie or me. I can’t live like that.”
    Jake’s hold loosened and I stepped away from him. He let me and my heart shattered into a million pieces. I’d got what I wanted, just as I feared.
    He pushed his hands through his hair and turned to the window. He looked so beautiful, but so upset. I hated that I had been the cause. But it was the right thing to do in the long run. There would be more pain, and it would be deeper for both of us, the longer we waited.
    “I’m sorry.” I left before I could change my mind.

 
    Jake
    I’d always known that she’d run at some point. But this wasn’t entirely about her fear of letting me get too close. I was distracted. I had Millie making demands on me that I knew must have been difficult for Haven to stomach. And how could I expect anyone to live through me having a baby with another woman? I had been stupid to think that it could end any other way with Haven. I had hoped the way I felt about her would shelter us from everything else. That we could ride out the storm together. I wanted to look after us both and keep our hearts safe for each other.
    “Are you okay?” Beth asked as I walked through the door to our apartment. She knew me too well; there was no hiding anything from her. I’d left the office just after Haven in the hope of finding Beth at home. There was no point being at work.
    “Not really.”
    “What’s going on? Is it Haven?”
    Why had she assumed that I would be upset about Haven? Had they spoken? Could she tell that Haven had never been mine at all?
    I nodded and collapsed on the sofa. “She ended it. She doesn’t want to be an additional pressure although she needs to be my priority. Or something.” I couldn’t remember everything she’d said. The conversation with Haven seemed to be over before it began. By the time I caught my