Free What the Lightning Sees: Part Three by Louise Bay Page B

breath and had finally managed to find some words, she’d already left.
    “So, you’re going to fight for her, right?” Beth asked.
    Despite, or perhaps because of, what was going on with me, it was so good to see Beth. She looked great. Her eyes were bright and she seemed more relaxed at the core of her somehow. I smiled, but shook my head. “What do you think I’ve been doing? I’ve been fighting for her every day since I met her. I can’t make her feel about me the way I do about her. It’s not mandatory. And she’s right. I can’t expect her to stand by me while another woman has my baby. Like she said, it’s not fair to her. I was a fool to think we were going to be okay.”
    Beth pursed her lips. “I don’t believe this is about her lack of feeling. If anything, it’s the opposite. She sounds like she doesn’t want you to be torn between her and Millie. She’s sacrificing herself for you. Of course, if she knew Millie, Haven would realize what a lunatic Millie is and that you were a dick for ever putting your dick anywhere near her. Scratch that. If she knew Millie, Haven would think your judgment was so off, she’d walk anyway.” She elbowed me, trying to elicit a smile.
    “You’re not helping. You know that, right?”
    “I am too. I’m making you feel bad about yourself and that’s important because—and I’d know—you need to hit rock bottom before you can start recovery.”
    I rolled my eyes and she laughed. It was good to have her back. Haven had asked whether Beth was back today. Had she been waiting for Beth to return to end things? Had she been that careful with my feelings? I didn’t know if it would be better or worse if she had. My stomach churned with the loss of her.
    “So do you have a plan?” Beth asked.
    “A plan?”
    “Yeah, to win her back. You always have a plan. That’s what you do. You plan, you fix, you make everything better.”
    I let myself consider her analysis of me. Was that who I was? I suppose it was. But this situation wasn’t fixable. Maybe Haven had been right. It wasn’t our time.
    “Of course, it will help when you get that paternity test back to prove that baby isn’t yours,” Beth continued. “But what else are you going to do?”
    “I’ve told you. I can’t make her do anything, and what makes you so sure that Millie is lying? She’s vacuous and a bit cold, but she’s not a monster. And she’s not stupid. She’s not going to tell me it’s mine if she’s going to get found out eventually. Why would she bother?”
    “I’m not saying I understand her, I just think she’s got a game plan. But time will tell and then I’ll take great delight in saying that I told you so.”
    Beth getting to gloat would be worth it, but the instant I had the thought I felt guilty. If the kid was mine, I didn’t want to be wishing it away.
    “I can’t think about that. It seems wrong that I’d be hoping that the baby is another man’s. And I don’t think she’d lie. I really don’t. I’m going to concentrate on Elemental Energy. It needs a lot of time and attention from me. We’re also going to move.”
    “We are?” Beth asked.
    “We are. There’s no room for three of us in this apartment.” I put my hand out to silence Beth from saying anything else about paternity. “And I need to move on. This place is a dump, you’re right.”
    “Oh my God, breakthrough! You see? Every cloud has a silver lining. You might have broken up with the love of your life, and you might never be happy again, but I’ll be cooking in a nicer kitchen.” She grinned and I threw a cushion at her.
    “I saw some places this weekend with Haven.” I stood up and headed to my desk in the corner of the living room. “These. I think two were ones you’d picked out.”
    I handed her brochures from the apartments that we had visited. She grabbed my hand and pulled me down onto the sofa.
    “Have you considered sharing your feelings with her about everything you’ve