Free Changing Forever by Lisa de Jong

away from him; so I did. I told myself it had more to do with saving her from a situation that was obviously making her uncomfortable, but deep down, I knew the true motivator.
    I’m not that fucking noble.
    It turned out to be one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time because there isn’t any pressure with her. We don’t always get along, but she’s honest and doesn’t want me for my name. Things are just comfortable.
    Rolling her eyes, she says, “I hardly consider that a date.”
    I laugh. “What would you consider it then?”
    “An unfortunate circumstance. Life is full of those.” The vision of Olivia walking up to me in the bar last night flashes through my mind. I feel like I can never escape her, and that’s unfortunate. What was even more unfortunate was the look on Emery’s face when I caught her staring at Olivia and me. I wanted to tell her she had it all wrong, but I have no reason to explain anything to her.
    “Did an unfortunate circumstance lead to you beating up your car? It must have done something pretty fucking bad,” I say, running my fingers along the dashboard.
    “My car wouldn’t start. I haven’t moved it since I got to school, and I think it forgot how to work.”
    I can’t suppress the half-smile that forms on my lips, but I know it doesn’t quite reach my eyes. I definitely feel off balance today. I need to get back out there and run.
    “Are you okay?” she asks.
    The smile quickly crumbles as I look away from her. “I’m just tired of all this rain. It seems like there are very few sunny days.” The words are metaphoric … so much meaning behind them.
    “It’s still better than snow.”
    “Maybe,” I say, looking over at her again. “Do you want me to take a look at your car?”
    “You fix cars?”
    “Yes, I can throw the football and fix cars. Well, not everything, but if it’s something simple I can.”
    “If you wouldn’t mind. I really didn’t want to have to call my dad,” she answers as the drops fall harder against the windshield.
    “It’s no problem.” I smile, more genuine this time.
    “Thank you.” She stops, smiling back at me. “However, there’s not much you can do about my car right now … I mean with this rain. Do you want to look at it later?”
    “Do you have to be somewhere?”
    “No, I was just going to run a few errands.”
    I nod, leaning over to look up at the gray sky. “I think it’s supposed to clear up this afternoon. Do you want to work on our project, and then maybe later, I can come out and take a look at this bad boy again? I could use a distraction.”
    Taking my mind off things might help. I can’t just sit and sulk all day long.
    “Do you want to meet me in the library?” she stops, surveying my drenched clothes. “Maybe in one hour?”
    “This will be the first time I’ve been there since I’ve gone to this school.”
    “Doesn’t surprise me.”
    “One hour then,” I say, opening my door.
    Jogging back to my dorm, I think about her. I find myself doing that more and more lately. It’s not necessarily a good thing because I should be thinking about football and family. I owe it to him.

    An hour later, I’m walking into the place unknown: the library. It looks exactly how I thought it would, which doesn’t do anything to raise my excitement level. There are several tables full of students, all working quietly, and then a few other students sitting in front of their computers in a row of cubicles. Standing in here for more than five seconds feels like a punishment for me, like I’ve been placed in a world where I shouldn’t exist.
    Before anyone can question my presence, I walk around looking for Emery, but it’s not easy to find her in the sea of bookshelves. The voice in my head that is always leading me to the dark side is telling me that if I don’t find her in the first few minutes, I should leave. Cut my losses because it’s not like I didn’t try.
    I feel marginally better than I did