allowing me to get caught up in the streets that I once called my home. She put her signal on to make a right turn onto 86 th street. I swallowed hard against the lump that had emerged in my throat. Just a few blocks ahead stood the bakery where my father was murdered in front. I wonder if it looked the same as I remembered it. The universe apparently wanted to fuck a little more with my emotions and as we approached Rosalie’s Bakery, the light changed to red causing us to come to a standstill right in front of where my father’s bloody body had stained the concrete.
There was no more caution tape. Why would there be? People walked in and out of the bakery carrying their baked goods. Pedestrians walked along the pavement seemingly without a care in the world. No one was thinking how a man had died in front of that bakery. No one was thinking how his blood pooled out around his lifeless body. No one thought about Michael Valente no one but me.
The light changed to green and Nikki drove off, leaving the bakery behind. I glanced up and noticed we were only a few blocks away from the house I grew up in the house I shared with my parents. My parents, who were dead.
“Turn left here,” I said my voice was barely above a whisper and I wasn’t even sure she heard me.
Nikki glanced over at me. “You sure about this?” She asked me her voice all soft and concerned.
I nodded, encouraging her to make the left as I had asked her to. She turned down the street where my parent’s home stood, the fourth house from the corner.
“Slow down,” I said. She slowly rolled up in front of the house, giving me time to take it all in. It was exactly as I remembered nothing on the exterior had been altered at all. I knew that Victor had taken care of the house after we picked up and left. He had rented it out and would mail my mother a check every month. I always wondered why my mother never sold the house. Funny how she hung onto it even though she tried so desperately to escape this life of ours.
“Do you remember my Aunt Gina? And my Nana, Big Red?” Nikki asked pulling me away from my trance. I tore my eyes from the house I apparently now owned. I think I owned it if not me who else? I looked blankly for a moment, trying to remember what she had asked me.
“My Nana, Big Red,” she repeated. “She’s about four feet eleven we’ve dubbed her the incredible shrinking women,” she lifted her hands to the sides of her head. “Big poufy orange hair that she thinks is red talks like a truck driver although Aunt Gina says she’s slowed down on the f-bombs.”
“You’re talking about your grandma? Of course I remember her,” she used to slip me five dollars, ask me to rob her a few cigarettes from someone, and then stash them in her straw pocketbook. That was our little secret though no need for Nikki to know about her grandma’s shenanigans.
“She and Aunt Gina used to rent the house,” Nikki said, nodding towards my old house.
“They don’t anymore?” I asked curiously.
“No, Aunt Gina packed up Red and her two dogs, Pepsi and Cola and moved to a fifty-five and over community in Florida. She said there weren’t any viable men left in Brooklyn.” Nikki smiled and for some reason that made me smile too.
“So who lives there now?”
She looked passed me at the house as she answered. “Nobody.”
I didn’t know how that was possible considering how my mother had received a check from Victor last month for the rent. I glanced back at the house for a moment before hitting the heel of my hand against the dashboard.
“Let’s get out of here,” I said.
“Where do you want to go?” She asked as she changed gears putting the car into drive.
“Anywhere but here,” I said, rubbing the stubble along my jaw. I needed a shave desperately.
“So back to Anthony’s?” She asked.
“Or there,” I said, feeling my pockets for my sunglasses. Fuck they were in my suit jacket that was well I had no