Free Broken Toy [Suncoast Society] (Siren Publishing Sensations) by Tymber Dalton Page A

me.”
    Craig’s tone softened. “Eh, you really doing okay, man?”
    “Yeah.” They actually lived over an hour south, down in Naples. He’d fibbed to them a few times and gently refused holiday invites over the past couple of years. It always caused a painfully deep ache in his soul afterward, the holiday gatherings did, that other get-togethers didn’t create.
    Besides, he always had the Marellis.
    By Friday afternoon, Bill was wondering if maybe going to the class was such a great idea. When he found himself back in west county late that afternoon, he stopped by the dive shop. Rob and Laura were both there, the baby asleep in her portable crib set up in the office. Closed in there with the couple, he decided to admit his reservations.
    “Maybe this isn’t the best idea,” he said. “Me going to class tomorrow.”
    “Are you worried about someone outing you?” Rob asked. “We’ve been going there for a couple of years, even ran into people we know a couple of times, and we’ve never had a problem.”
    Bill sat back in his chair. “Sort of. I don’t know.”
    Laura smiled. “Not sure you’re ready to jump back into the dating pool?”
    “I don’t know. Maybe.”
    She leaned over and hugged him. “Listen, you said it yourself, you’re tired of being alone. Love isn’t easy.” She glanced at Rob. “Believe me, if anyone knows that, we do. We had to go through it not once, but twice, if you think about it. The second time around, we still chose each other, even though I didn’t know who the hell I really was for a lot of the second time. Take a chance and go to the class. If you want, I can ask our sitter if they can take Molly sooner, and I’ll go to the class with you.”
    He didn’t want to inconvenience them. “No, that’s okay. I guess I should just nut up and go through with it.” He looked at Rob. “Does it get any easier?”
    The paramedic shrugged. “I’ll be honest, the first couple of times I went to events, I felt scared shitless.” He rested a hand on Laura’s shoulder. “Was it worth it? Absolutely.”
    She snuggled against Rob’s side.
    A sad pang squeezed Bill’s heart. His mind flashed back to his Ella, to nights snuggled on the couch with her while watching TV. To sweet times spent in bed together.
    Standing vigil at her bedside, mentally begging her to open her eyes and look at him.
    “Scared shitless.” He thought about the Ella he’d met at the munch, how something about her wouldn’t leave his mind. “That’s pretty accurate.”
    He drove back to east county and was fortunate enough to snag his usual table at Marelli’s. With the place relatively busy, he knew the staff didn’t have time to socialize with him. After Dori quickly grabbed his order, setting down glasses of tea and water without even asking him what he wanted to drink, he settled in with his work phone to go through e-mails.
    He never did this when with Ella. His Ella. They’d always sat and talked during meals. He missed that nearly as much as he missed the intimate contact. Not even sexual, just…being with someone.
    With someone.
    He missed not feeling like a fifth wheel when out with others.
    He missed the life he’d had, the plans and dreams they’d made. They’d wanted children, but then the world imploded.
    Now, he knew he didn’t want children at his age, even if the right woman miraculously came along. Ella had wanted children. He’d wanted them more because he wanted what she wanted, wanted to do anything and everything to make her happy. He knew he would have loved them every bit as much as she would have. She’d wanted to put off having them, and had actually started talking about trying to get pregnant before her gallbladder problem cropped up. And then…
    All those talks fell by the wayside. Kids, with her, would have been great.
    But without her…
    No, he’d be better off with a cat. Life had soured him since losing her. Turned him bitter in some ways. Inflexible.