Free Broken Toy [Suncoast Society] (Siren Publishing Sensations) by Tymber Dalton Page B

He’d grown so comfortable with being alone that if someone was meant to be in his life, like Ella 2.0, they’d have to be able to love him and accept him the way he was, right now. Just like he would accept them.
    He was too mature to play games. Too set in his ways to chase someone down. He wouldn’t tolerate passive-aggressive antics to try to elicit a reaction from him. They either took him as he was…or they didn’t.
    He’d seen too many of his friends and coworkers divorce in the time since he’d lost his Ella. He wouldn’t set himself up for that, if he could avoid it. That meant not settling. That also meant not trying to be things he knew he wasn’t.
    And it also meant the stars aligning, and whoever walked into his life not being a doormat who would do anything just to have a relationship. Tony and Rob had both given him that warning, about new sub “frenzy,” the buzz of new relationship energy switching off the main breaker in peoples’ brains and turning them utterly stupid.
    He was a cop, used to keeping his cool. Ella 2.0 appealed to that in him. She didn’t seem overly eager to throw herself at him.
    Caution like that was something he appreciated.
    Now let’s see if she gives me a chance to see more of her.

Chapter Nine
     
    Monday morning, Gabe went for an early-morning run and then stood under the shower, water as hot as she could stand it, letting it drum against her scalp and sting her flesh. Her dreams had been filled with all sorts of wild, crazy, and sexually explicit scenes starring Bill.
    Of letting him tie her up and do things to her.
    I really need to get laid.
    Unfortunately, the vibrator in her suitcase couldn’t hold her as she drifted off to sleep at night, or have conversations with her. She could lie to herself all she wanted, say she didn’t need it, but something deep inside her soul craved and cried out for intimate human contact. Someone to snuggle with on the couch while watching TV. Someone to curl up with in bed while falling asleep.
    Someone to touch her without recoiling from her physical and emotional scars.
    Someone she could trust enough to let go to, to give her a break from her high-pressured life every once in a while without worrying her burdens were too much for them to bear.
    Fat chance of that happening.
    After she got dressed she sat on the bed and picked up Lil Lobo. He went with her when she had to leave home for more than a day. He’d become her security blanket, and she wasn’t too stupid to see that. He was the reminder that no one could take him away from her.
    Unlike Bear…
    She forced that thought from her mind. Maria’s voice had remained strangely silent that morning. Gabe didn’t want to do anything, think anything, that might awaken it.
    Yes, she knew her life was of her own making from the first step she set outside Maria’s door after graduation. She was well aware of that. Aware that she’d spent her initial time away from Maria cocooning herself in armor-clad layers of emotional protection, not letting anyone close enough to hurt her again. The army had been a great help in that respect, rewarding tough personas, encouraging her to push herself as hard as she could. She even had plenty of acquaintances and got along fine with people she worked with. She simply chose not to give anyone a chance to disappoint her, hurt her, let her down. She didn’t expect anything from anyone.
    Although she expected the world from herself.
    She set the stuffed wolf on the bedside table after giving it a final pat on the head. Also a tangible reminder to her that her job was important. Saving lives was important. Saving children, especially. She didn’t want kids of her own, not when she saw what could happen to them.
    Not when her own childhood had been so hellish.
    The little amigurumis were important, too. Even if Gabe only made a positive impact in Rachel’s life with the little animals, that alone was worth it. Validation of her efforts.
    A