Free Charlotte Gray by Sebastian Faulks

over to a little boarded-up fireplace where she rested her elbow on the mantelpiece.
    "You have to trust people. Charlotte. Come on."
    Charlotte had to grind the words out through her learned discretion.
    "I think ... I think I've gone a bit mad."
    Daisy silently raised her eyebrows.
    "I've developed this feeling for ..." Charlotte nodded, 'this man, Peter Gregory. And it's quite absurd. It's quite out of proportion."
    Daisy's sympathetic manner could not conceal the light of intrigue in her eyes.
    "Go on."
    "I feel completely out of control."
    Daisy smiled.
    "I could tell from the moment I saw you swooning on the dance floor."
    "What are you talking about? I don't swoon."
    "Believe me, darling. You closed your eyes as though ' "
    "was trying to keep the smoke out."
    Daisy laughed, and Charlotte felt a small, unwilling smile.
    "That's why I rang up and asked Ralph if he could get hold of him through Michael Waterslow. I could see you weren't going to do anything.
    Don't look so shocked. They were quite happy to play along."
    "It's awful. Daisy. I don't understand how I can feel like this. It's not reasonable, it's like an illness. No sane human being should feel like this, so soon, before anything has happened if ever." There were tears along the rims of her eyes. Daisy walked back across the room and sat down on the bed again.
    "What we have to do now is decide on our plan of action. We just have to lay out all the alternatives and examine them. When I was at Oxford there was a girl in my college who fell in love with one of the dons.
    We used to spend hours plotting how she could seduce him. Is something the matter?"
    "No, no. I just didn't realise you'd been to Oxford."
    "Try not to look so amazed. Charlotte. It's not polite."
    "What did you read?"
    "Greats. Anyway, we got her sorted out in the end. She used to call me Aunt Daisy afterwards. I really hated that."
    "And what did you do?"
    "It's not relevant to your case. Tell me, have you had boyfriends before?"
    "Yes, I've had what I suppose you'd call admirers."
    "But have you had a really big, passionate affair?"
    Charlotte felt Daisy's question masked a more intimate curiosity. She was evasive.
    "Never a great love, perhaps."
    "Don't think I'm prying. I just need to know what makes you tick."
    "You're sounding like a psychiatrist."
    "What do you know about psychiatry?"
    "My father worked as a psychiatrist for a long time. That's all."
    "Shall I be honest with you, Charlotte?"
    "Yes." Charlotte did not sound enthusiastic.
    "I think you might do better to have a few little flings rather than jump straight in at the deep end. I like your Mr. Gregory, but I wouldn't trust him. Actually I find him a bit frightening." She looked at Charlotte's doubtful face, the eyes clouded.
    "Though I suppose that's the part you've fallen for."
    Charlotte sighed.
    "I hadn't thought of it like that at all the way you describe, the practical details and so on. I just felt impelled to him. I felt it would be a betrayal of something if I didn't go to him. It was like a call that it would be wrong to ignore. It feels very deep inside me."
    "Well, you jolly well ought to think about the practical details, I assure you. You don't want to feel " impelled" to someone who isn't there or who's got half a dozen other girlfriends."
    "What would you do?"
    "Well, I've told you. I think I'd play the field, go out with lots of different men and see if he came after me. Then I'd play it jolly carefully.
    Don't look at me like that. Charlotte. You make me feel the most awful tart. You don't have to sleep with all of them."
    "No."
    "I do, but that's my choice. You can have fun just going out with them and maybe just a kiss at the end of the evening."
    Charlotte didn't look convinced.
    They went round the problem two or three more times, but no new vantage point was gained. By the time Daisy left Charlotte's room she had agreed, against her better judgement, to help Charlotte make contact again with Gregory.