Free Keeping You a Secret by Julie Anne Peters Page A

I probably just imagined it.” She shook her head. “I’m mad at him, that’s all.”
    “Leah, if you felt that way, it was real. You have every right to be pissed. Come on.”
    Her face changed. “You’re right. Especially if he’s been cheating on me.”
    “Oh, Leah.” I wanted to hold her. Comfort her. I knew her well enough to know she was devastated. She’d made all these plans; rearranged her life around him. Before I could get up and got to her, she lowered herself to the sofa and bent over, elbows on knees. “What are you doing next your?” she asked. “Going to college with Seth, probably, huh? You couldn’t talk him into Western State, could you?”
    Mom bustled into the room. “You can’t be serious,” she said.
    How long had she been standing there, listening? I hated when she did that.
    Settling Hannah into her baby seat beside me, Mom said, “You girls need bigger dreams. There’s no way Holland’s going to a state school. I know Seth wouldn’t dream of it. And you shouldn’t either, Leah. It’d be a waste of your talent.”
    “Unless, of course, your talent is human waste,” I murmured.
    Mom looked at me. I looked at her back. How did she know what Seth dreamed of?
    Leah said to me, “Have you decided? Seth was asking me yesterday if you’d said anything.”
    “Jesus.” I shot to my feet. “Why doesn’t everybody just get off my back.” I stormed into the kitchen, almost colliding with Neal. We side-stepped each other, being careful not to touch. As I wrenched open the refrigerator and grabbed the milk carton, I sensed Leah behind me. She Said, “I’m Sorry, Holland. I didn’t know it was a sore subject.”
    I took a slug of milk, set the carton back in the fridge, then plastered on my don’t-worry-about-it smile. “I haven’t decided, okay? Seth assumes I want to go with him, but I don’t know what I want.”
    “Okay,” Leah said. “No pressure.”
    No pressure. Right. So why was I on the verge of explosion?
    “You want to come with me to tell Kirsten about Connor?” Leah said. “We shouldn’t leave her out. You know how she gets.
    I didn’t really want to go. It was late, I didn’t feel well. “Sure. Let me get my shoes.” I padded over and gave Leah a hug. What are friends for?

    ***

    Thursday Cece reappeared, huddling in front of her locker with her coffee and donuts and earphones, the baseball cap on her head. She wore a T-shirt that screamed: OUT! AND PROUD!
    I was so glad to see her, the hall lights grew brighter.
    Her eyes were closed, but she blinked up at my approach. Hi, I mouthed.
    She removed the earphones. Leaning forward a little, she reached around and shut her locker door.
    I dropped my duffel. “Oh, my God.” Both hands rose to cover my mouth. “My God.” Someone had spray-painted down the length of her locker: DIE DYKE.
    “Not terribly artistic, were they?” Cece cocked her head upward. “I mean, the letters all run together. There’s no style at all. Really amateurish. Not to mention extremely unoriginal.”
    I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t speak. Didn’t realize tears were streaming down my face until Cece shouted, “Don’t!” She rushed across the hall and pinned me against my locker. “Don’t cry. Don’t you let them see us cry.” Her eyes pooled with tears. She retreated and gathered her stuff.
    I stood frozen, stunned. Her words echoed in my ears: Us? What did she mean by us? She was fleeing down the hall.
    I gaped at her locker. How could they? Anger burbled up from my core. How could they?
    I found out soon enough she wasn’t the only one targeted. Brandi’s locker had the same massage, and three guys got the more obscene FAGS FUCK OFF.
    It spurred a hurried assembly. Mr. Reynardi threatened the entire student body with legal action for what he called “this deliberate act of vandalism, this marring of school property, this criminal mischief.”
    Criminal mischief? He made it sound like a stupid prank. What about