Free Absolutely Unforgivable by Tracy Tegan

night before. My face reddened as waves of shame and guilt poured over me.

    I knew you couldn’t control what you dream about. Still I couldn’t help but feel guilty about it and I really didn’t understand why I was dreaming about Billy in the first place. I have a perfect boyfriend who is gorgeous, attentive, tender, kind-hearted, decisive and strong. Just thinking about Jeromy made my stomach fill with butterflies, so why was I having naughty dreams about his best friend?

    I was so embarrassed by what had happened the night before I did everything I could do to avoid even looking at Billy over breakfast. I know that Billy had no idea what had happened and it was only a dream, but still I couldn’t face him.

    I looked around the room while we were eating breakfast. This was a nice house, but a home it was not. It lacked a feminine touch. The walls were rather bare and boring, so I decided that would be my project for the day while Jeromy was at work.

    After breakfast I made my way to a Target to pick up a few supplies. I was going to put the money I earned from Rowdy’s to good use. I found four blank canvases and some paints. I made my way over to the home decor department and picked up a clear, large plastic tarp. I didn't want to make a mess after all. Before heading back home, I picked up a handful of black picture frames as well.

    When I got back I went to the band’s website and picked a few of my favorite photos and printed them out so that I could put them in the picture frames I had just bought. I hung them up in the living room and then took the canvasses to the backyard and laid them on top of my plastic tarp.

    I didn’t want to ruin my clothes so I had changed into an old bikini that I didn’t mind getting paint on. I thought about throwing on an old t-shirt and some shorts but decided against it. While painting in the backyard, I could still be getting a tan.

    I knew that Brick was there with Billy and Zander but I wasn’t sure what they were doing, and I quite honestly was doing my best to avoid Billy, so I was glad they were keeping him busy.

    I put my iPhone in the docking station outside and cranked up my music and danced around as I splattered various colors of paint on the four canvases in my best attempt at being creative, Jackson Pollock style.

    It was getting hot by now and I wanted to cool off so I walked over to the diving board. I wondered as I approached it if I could still do the back handspring into the pool that I used to be able to do when I was younger. It had been years since I had tried but since nobody else was around, I thought what the hell and gave it a try.

    I nailed it but as my head came up out of the water I was met with cheers from the band, who had all gathered at the open window in Billy’s office upstairs.

    I tried to hide my embarrassment as I grabbed my towel and covered my body but really there was no hope of that. I went inside to shower and clean up as my artwork dried outside in the hot Houston sun.

    I tried to waste time until Jeromy got home so I painted my nails pink and then my toenails and then messed with my hair some more, but eventually I was running out of things I could do to avoid leaving my room. Finally I decided to just suck it up. I was going to have to face them all eventually so I found an old pair of cutoff jean shorts to put on and a large t-shirt that hung loosely on my body.

    When I walked out of my bedroom I could hear that they had made their way downstairs. There was a lot of noise so I figured they were in the game room which was next to Billy’s studio.

    Still not wanting to face everyone, I made my way outside to check on my artwork. Since it was finally dry I hung it up in the living room near the photographs I had put up earlier. While I was admiring my handiwork the noise from the game room was getting louder and my curiosity finally got the better of me. I had to see what they were doing in there.

    At hearing the clink