Free A Very Nefarious Christmas by Needa Warrant

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He was peeved that Maynard wasn’t enjoying this as much as he was.
    “I don’t hear the refrigerator on. Fuck. We should have checked inside. I’m hoping we didn’t steal an empty truck.” Maynard finally realized what was bugging him.
    Pulling over, Orson shut off the truck and jumped out cursing. Swiper and the other bikers came up to them. Bernie stayed in the van. Maynard stood by the back of the truck, watching as Orson jumped up and began to roll up the door.
    Swiper’s worst nightmare came to life. Out of the back of the truck flew about a dozen live turkeys. Oreo shut the door as fast as he could, but couldn’t stop a number of them escaping. The turkeys were very much awake … and not happy at all. Wings flapping like crazy, they ran around angrily and made a fuss. One turkey in particular began to circle Swiper threateningly.
    Moose and Thorn burst out laughing. Swiper, stunned, began to back away as the turkey drew close. “Stupid motherfuckers,” he shouted, his voice shaking. “They’re not fucking dead, and I’m gonna kill those fucking birds and all of you !” He screamed and ran to the van for protection, the angry turkey chasing him.
    A second later, Swiper returned with a shotgun, which he aimed at the turkeys and Maynard and Orson. Fury stung his eyes. Thorn and Moose wisely dived to the ground.
    “You scummers!” he screamed out. “Frozen turkeys, my ass!” He aimed the shotgun at a turkey near Maynard and Oreo, who were staring back as if he’d lost his mind.
    Moose yelled, “Run! He’s got a gun!”
    Swiper blasted off a round, and Thorn and Moose heard Maynard and Orson yelling and running off into the woods. Swiper was aiming to fire again when Thorn tackled him to the ground.
    “Swiper, what the hell are you thinking shooting at us?? Moose, get the shotgun from him. I don’t know where the hell Maynard and Orson ran to, but we’ve got to get outta here. Swiper, get into the van. Moose, you drive. I’ll take care of the truck. We need to return it or dump it close to Coots farm.” Thorn was thinking as rationally as he could.
    “Fuck the truck. Leave it here with those damn birds. Let them go into the woods. Who the fuck cares? Did I get at least one of those birds?” Swiper was feeling ill as he thought of the turkeys.
    Moose couldn’t help himself and started to laugh again. “Nope. You just shot at Maynard and Oreo. Now, I’m gonna have to come back and look for them. Get in the van and maybe we’ll find them on the way outta here. Thorn, why don’t you take these birds to your lodge, let ‘em go and become wild. You got fowl in those woods, don’t cha?”
    “No wild turkeys in years. I get calls every year asking for them, though. Hell yeah, I’ll take ‘em. I’ve got a plan to get rid of the truck, too. Gonna wake up Mad Jack. This was his idea, so he can come help me. Go find Maynard and Oreo. I’m good.” Thorn climbed into the truck and rode off leaving Swiper cursing and Moose and Bernie to find the two missing bikers.
     
    * * *
     
    Once he hit Sea Woods, Thorn stopped at a payphone and called Mad Jack’s house. Deidra didn’t want to wake up Jack, but Thorn finally convince her to.
    “Wake him up and tell him to meet me by the road to the Lodge. I need a ride. Don’t ask me why over the phone.” Thorn wasn’t going to let Jack off the hook. Deidra relayed the message, to which Thorn heard Jack respond, “This better be for a good reason. I’m still sick as fuck.”
    Thorn backed the truck down the road that lead to his Lodge and waited about ten minutes. Finally, he saw Jack’s truck, so he jumped out.
    “Your plan backfired,” he said once he got into Jack’s truck. “Those morons stole a truckload packed with live turkeys. Swiper freaked and let loose birdshot on Oreo and Maynard. They ran off into the woods and I’ve got the turkeys. I’m going let them loose here.”
    Jack started to laugh as