Free Always and Forever by Lauren Crossley Page A

intense; my intention is not to scare you away. God, that’s thelast
thing I want to do but the truth is, I really don’t think I’ll be able to
accept your decision if you choose not to see me again after tonight.” He
remains silent as he waits to hear my response to his confession.
    I know it’s my turn to say something and yet I can’t even
begin to find the words. All I can do is continue to stare at him with a look
of astonishment on my face. His spectacular eyes make it even more difficult
for me to formulate anything remotely coherent. They fixate on me with a
penetrating gaze that makes it hard for me to breathe let alone concentrate.
    “I… I don’t know what to say.” I mumble pathetically.
    Jake throws his arms in the air and begins to pace back and
forth in an agitated manner. I mistakenly believe him to be angry with me and
start to leave, not liking this new side of Jake that I’ve never seen before.
    “Bethany, wait!” He yells after me, hurrying to close the
distance between us.
    “Why should I? I’ve obviously said something you don’t
like.”
    He circles around me until he’s standing in front of me and
subsequently blocking my path.
    “No! It’s not that. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to freak you
out by what I said. I just wanted you to know how I feel. I didn’t plan on
saying anything like that, not yet anyway. It’s just that I panicked when you
started to talk about not being able to see me again. I really don’t want that
to happen.”
    “Why?” I ask him obstinately.
    “What do you mean?” He frowns, perplexed by my obvious
question.
    “Why do you want to see me again? Because I can’t help but
wonder what all of this is about. It just doesn’t add up and I want to know why
you’re so desperate to spend your time with me.”
    “Bethany, you can’t be serious when asking me that
question. Have you not seen yourself lately? There’s no man on this earth that
wouldn’t want to spend his time with you and I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m
one of them. I’ve had so much going on lately, things have happened that I
can’t even bring myself to talk about and all I knows is that meeting you last
week made me feel different. It changed things for me and I don’t care how
crazy this sounds, I need to see you again. I wish you didn’t have to
lie about where you were going tonight, I don’t want you to have to live with
the constant worry of being caught but if that’s the only way I’m going to be
able to see you then I’m begging you, please do it.” His strong hands grab hold
of my upper arms, his touch is firm but not at all painful and his eyes bore
into mine, imploring me to do this one thing for him. I’m trying to come up
with something to say, anything that would even begin to compare to his
openness and honesty.
    His breathing is ragged and I watch in fascination as his
broad chest rises and falls with every laboured breath. My eyes glide up
towards his face and settle on his slightly parted lips. I begin to contemplate
what it would be like to kiss him. I’ve never kissed anybody before and I can
imagine that Jake has kissed plenty of girls. He’ll be far more experienced
than I am.
    “Ok.” I say, nodding my head.
     “You won’t regret this, Bethany. I promise you.” He
gently presses his forehead against mine and speaks his words with such
sincerity; I can’t help but believe in him. My trembling continues as he softly
strokes the side of my face with his fingertips.
    “Jake, I really have to go now. If I’m not home on time
then I won’t be able to meet you again next week.”
    “You mean it? You’ll make sure you’re here next Friday?” He
asks me hopefully.
    “Yes.” I smile joyfully, knowing that in my heart there
really was no other decision than to continue to see Jake. I know that if I
were to walk away from him now I’d regret it for the rest of my life. I’m not
sure how I’m going to handle my mum and I’m going to be