Free Whose Life is it Anyway? by Sinéad Moriarty Page A

matter what she did, I suffered. My sympathy for her was fading rapidly.
    When I got back to my room the fallen woman was waiting for me, weeping into my pillow, making it wet and soggy and snotty – yuck. I was all out of compassion so I grunted at her to move over and climbed in, grabbing my pillow and turning it snotty side down.
    ‘What were you talking to Dad about? Was he giving out about me? What did he say? Do you think he’ll forgive me?’
    ‘No, I don’t think he will,’ I said grumpily.
    She started so howl at this news and I felt a bit guilty. ‘Of course he’ll forgive you. You know what Dad’s like. He always blows his top and rants and raves and then he calms down. He’ll be fine tomorrow. I’m really tired, I need to sleep now.’
    Siobhan sighed and blew her nose. ‘It wouldn’t be so bad for him if it was you. He expects you to mess up. He always had me on a pedestal. I’m his favourite, that’s what makes it so bad. I don’t think he’ll ever get over it.’
    ‘Well, maybe you should have thought about that when you were having sex with Liam.’ I was fed up with Siobhan’s moaning, and her insensitive remarks about being Dad’s favourite child.
    ‘Liam said he knew what he was doing. He said we didn’t need condoms because he’d pull out early.’
    Oh, God, not this – not details. The last thing I wanted to hear was what Liam did and said during sex. Gross! The thought of the two of them at it was making me feel ill. She rambled on about Liam’s early-exit plans and I had to shut her up. ‘Do you love him, Siobh? Do you want to marry him?’
    ‘Of course I love him. What type of a person do you think I am? I would never have had sex with him if I didn’t love him. That’s why I thought it was OK, because we were always going to get married. Liam said so. As soon as we finished college we were going to get married.’
    ‘So you don’t mind if you have to marry him now?’
    ‘No. I love Liam and I want to have his baby. It’s a mortal sin to think of any other options. I never really wanted to go to college. I only said I did to please Mum.’
    I knew she was lying because her voice was shaking – and, anyway, I knew how badly she wanted to go to college. She wanted to be the first O’Flaherty to go to university. She had told me so a million times. I was the one who wasn’t interested in going, but not because I wanted to shack up with an Irish dancer who lied about sperm control. Still, if Siobhan was going to play pretend, I would too. ‘Sure college is crap. Who wants to waste three years studying when you could be married and have a family instead?’ I said, mustering as much enthusiasm as I could at three a.m.
    ‘Yes, but, Niamh, not everyone is lucky enough to meet the man of their dreams at my age. Some girls find it hard to meet boys. But don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find someone eventually.’
    Condescending cow, after I had been so nice to her.
    ‘Yeah, well, I wouldn’t worry about me, Siobhan, because thanks to you behaving like a cheap tart, I’m being sent to boarding-school in Ireland. Get out now. I’m tired and I want to go to sleep. It may be my last night under this roof.’
    I pushed her off the bed and shoved her out of the door before she could think of a bitchy retort. I climbed under the covers and was asleep before my head touched the pillow.
    What seemed like a mere thirty seconds later, my mother came to wake me for school. I was exhausted. I begged and pleaded with her to let me stay at home. I told her I’d only had five minutes’ sleep and I felt awful. She looked pretty rough herself. Her face was puffy and her eyes were like two tiny raisins in the back of her head. She felt my forehead and sighed. ‘Well, you do feel a bit hot and you do look tired, pet. Maybe just this once.’
    I couldn’t believe my luck. I was never allowed to stay at home from school. Even if my leg had been ripped off in a car crash, I’d have been