Free Whose Life is it Anyway? by Sinéad Moriarty Page B

given two Anadin with a glass of boiled red lemonade and sent off on my merry – or not so merry – way. Nobody stayed home from school in our house. Ever.
    ‘Thanks, Mum. I really do feel bad. I’m not pretending, I swear.’
    I was always prone to dramatics and she normally reprimanded me for it, but that day she just ruffled my hair. ‘Niamh, I want you to listen to me for a minute. Really listen.’
    I hoped she wasn’t going to launch into the birds-and-bees chat. I was fifteen, for goodness’ sake.
    ‘What has happened to Siobhan is awful. It has ruined her chances of going to college, getting a proper education, having a career and the freedom to choose what she wants to do with her life. Women my age would kill for those opportunities. Your generation are so much freer. Don’t waste it, Niamh – make something of your life. Every decision you make affects your future. Siobhan made a mistake and she’s going to pay for it for a long time to come. So be very careful when you make your choices. Think them through first. Weigh up the pros and cons and then decide. The world is your oyster. Study hard, then go out and travel the world, experience different cultures and countries. Live your life to the full. Now, try to sleep and I’ll come in later to check on you.’
    ‘OK. Thanks, Mum.’
    ‘You’ll be the first O’Flaherty to go to university if I have to sit the exams for you myself. I want you to have those opportunities I could only dream of. So after today you’re to focus on your school work. All right?’
    ‘Yes, Mum, I will. I promise.’
    She patted my hand and as she opened the door she said, over her shoulder, ‘Oh, and, Niamh, there will be no more tap dancing.’
    Irish Daily News
‘What women mean when…’
Niamh O’Flaherty
Beware when we say, ‘Fine,’ accompanied by a raised hand: this is a very dangerous area. When a woman says, ‘Fine,’ with a raised hand it means she’s furious with you but doesn’t want to argue with you any more.
When a man says, ‘Fine,’ he means ‘Fine’ (as in OK – no hidden meaning).
When a woman says she’ll be ready in ‘five minutes’ she doesn’t mean five minutes. She means she’ll be ready when she’s ready. If all is going well and she fits into the outfit she wants to wear and her hair turns out OK, you should be looking at twenty minutes. However, if she doesn’t fit into the outfit she wants to wear or her hair frizzes up, you could be looking at a good hour during which there will definitely be tears and vows never to eat again.
When a man says he’ll be ready in five minutes, he’s actually ready but wants to catch five minutes of the football without being nagged.
When a woman is asked what she wants to do for her birthday and she says, ‘Nothing’, beware. ‘Nothing’ is code for ‘I want something really special, but I don’t want to have to tell you. I want you to surprise me with your thoughtful present and romantic gestures.’ It does not mean that she wants nothing. Should you do nothing for her on her birthday, believe me, she will throw all of the toys out of the pram.
A man will never say he wants ‘Nothing’. He’ll ask for sex.
When a woman prefaces a sentence with ‘Oh, by the way’ – run for cover. We only use ‘Oh, by the way’ when we’ve heard something negative about you. ‘Oh, by the way’ means you’re in big trouble.
A man would never say, ‘Oh, by the way,’ unless maybe he was gay.
A loud sigh is often misinterpreted by men as a sign of tiredness in their partner. What it actually means is that she is feeling unloved, unappreciated and undervalued. When you hear the big sigh, pay attention. A storm is brewing.
A loud sigh in a man means he’s just had great sex.
On the other hand if a woman lets out a gentle, soft sigh, it means that she’s happy. Don’t ruin the moment by saying or doing anything. If we’re soft-sighing, we’re content. Don’t think it’s a good time to