Free Angel by Jamie Canosa Page A

“Cal.”
    “What?”
    “You can call me Cal.” Not many people did. Kiernan and our parents, that was about it. But I liked the idea of adding Jade’s name to that list.
    “Oh . . . Cal?”
    Yeah, I definitely liked it. “Hmm?”
    “Can I ask you a dumb question?”
    “Sure.” The light we’d been stopped at turned green and I rolled forward, wishing it had stayed red a little longer.
    “What should I do tomorrow?” Jade frowned the moment she finished speaking and I could practically see the internal eye roll that wasn’t there. “I mean, I know Kiernan’s being released, and I’m assuming you’re taking him back home, and—” 
    “Stop.” Screw traffic lights. There wasn’t another car in sight and I could stop where I damn well pleased. Swerving onto the shoulder, I threw the car in park and twisted to get a better look at her chewing fiercely at that lip again. “That’s not a dumb question, Jade. It’s not easy to know what the right thing is in situations like these. You don’t want to overwhelm Kiernan, you don’t want to impose on family time. All that shows is that you care. You’re considerate and you have a good heart. There’s nothing dumb about that.” 
    I waited until she had a chance to process that. Her fingers unwound in her lap and she released her battered lip. Satisfied she’d heard me, I pulled back onto the road and continued toward her place.
    It didn’t elude me that I’d failed to actually answer her question, but the truth was only she could answer that. And it was an answer that held more weight for me than I liked to admit.
    Like a sissy, I waited until we were parked outside her building—where I could make a quick getaway—before giving it to her.
    “I guess it comes down to what you want to do. Don’t worry about overwhelming Kiernan. He doesn’t have a lot of time left and he wants to spend every moment of it with the people he loves. That includes you. Mom and I have had a year to come to grips with this. I’m afraid you won’t have that much time. So the question is, what do you want to do with it?” 
    She didn’t even hesitate. “Spend it with Kiernan.”
    And that was it. That was the moment I knew my prayers had been answered. I was right all along. She was the angel my brother needed her to be.
    She was the angel we all needed.

 
     
     
    Nine
     
     
    The highway stretched out before me as far as my headlights could reach. Beyond that, the darkness seemed strangely inviting. The unknown, the unseen. The obscurity. I could disappear out there. Hide from everyone and everything. I could feel those dark thoughts creeping up on me, so I shut my brain down and functioned on auto-pilot.
    After making sure Jade was safely inside her building, I’d had every intention of going home. But my wheels kept on turning and now I was miles from town. Windows cracked to let in fresh air. Heater cranked to fight of the chill. Radio blasting to drown out any and every thought. Hours ticked by. I had to stop for gas. I sang along with the classic rock station until my throat ached and my voice broke.
    I needed a break and this was the only way I knew how to find one. The urge to toss my cell and never turn around was powerful. It would be so easy to run. Leave it all behind. Dad had done it.
    But I wasn’t him. I wasn’t a coward. I was stronger than that. At least I hoped I was, because if I wasn’t, I’d die trying to be.
    Pulling onto the shoulder, I snapped off the radio. The sudden silence pounded in my ears as thoughts slowly snaked their way back in. Reminders of what I couldn’t forget . I squared my shoulders as that weight I’d been trying to outrun settled back on them.
    Break time over.
    The house was dark when I parked in the drive. Not unexpected. Mom was home, but it was late. After eleven. I should have called her. She was probably worried by now. I could have at least—
    Dry, gasping sobs reverberated through the darkened rooms,