Free Shafting the Halls by Cat Mason Page A

Christmas Carol, ‘Grow Some Balls’.”
    “Calm down, you two. You draw attention to us and no one will be getting shit,” Henry scolds us. “They see Grayson or you, Hunter, and it’s a full sprint to the ‘Burban with a mob on our ass.”
    “That’s right, remember this is our only shot to get this before Christmas morning. Grow up,” Gray says, earning him middle finger salutes from both Mack and me.
    “She’s coming,” Henry says, pushing up closer to the door.
    “That’s what she said,” Mack says, elbowing me again.
    “Elbow me one more time, I swear it’ll be your nuts roasting on an open fire,” I growl, making Gray laugh.
    The manager studies the crowd through the safety of the glass, people from behind push us toward the door as she turns the lock. Then it’s pandemonium. “Run!” Henry shouts as the doors open and screams slice through the air. “Mack, stay with him,” Henry calls as I run through the entry way of the store, my eyes on the prize.
    “I got him!” Mack shouts, hot on my heels.
    “Out of my way, asshole,” an old woman shouts, smacking me in the back of the legs with her cane.
    Crumpling to my knees, I see it through the damn near blinding pain as women run past me. The display. Employees try to regain order, but it’s useless. Through the sea of bodies, I see my in and go for it. Army crawling, I dive between legs, my back and legs being stomped on as I try to climb to my feet.
    “We need to maintain some order here, people!” A man shouts over the loud speaker.
    “Hunter!” Mack yells over the energy drink fueled Mommy’s Gone Wild episode going on before me.
    Scrambling to my feet, I turn and see him clutching a box to his chest. “You got one?” I ask, before fist pumping the air. “Fuck yes! Hey, Big Man, we got it! Let’s get the hell out of here!” I shout, looking around for Henry and Gray.
    Spotting them, I wince as Gray is being trampled to the ground by more shoppers piling through the doors, while Henry dives in to save him.
    “There’s one, let’s get him!” A woman shouts before she, and three other women, tackle Mack to the ground with a loud crash.
    Shoving my way through the crowd, I reach Mack. “Crazy broads,” he roars, as blood pours from his nose. “I’m not gonna make it, Hunter. Save yourself,” he says, trying to push his way free. “Tell Jazzie the cookies are in the bottom drawer behind the dish towels.”
    Boxes are flying everywhere, it’s complete chaos and getting worse by the minute. There’s only one way out of this. It’s go time.
    Shoving the last woman off of Mack, I help him to his feet. “Pay for the damn thing and tell Henry to get the ‘Burban.  It’s a Shaft call to Hustle. I’m taking one for the team,” I say, clapping his shoulder. “I’ve got a plan!” I shout heading for the jewelry counter which is far enough away from the register to give Mack and the guys a fighting chance and secure the toy to make my little girl’s day.
    Leaping onto the counter, I throw down my sunglasses and tear the hood from my head. “Attention, shoppers,” I scream, my voice echoing through the speakers making nearly half the women stop dead in their tracks.  “Our jewelry department has been given the shaft.”
    “It’s Hunter Chesterfield!” a lady shouts, running towards me. “Oh my God!”
    A lot of the women scream, heading straight for me, their brawling momentarily forgotten. With as much fighting as there was to get in the door, it has to be said I am disappointed no one was trampled to get to me. I am a way better toy. Plus, all my moving parts work, just saying.
    Glancing over, I see Mack hand the cashier some bills just as he hands over the box to Henry before he shoves through the exit with Gray. “Hi, ladies,” I say, grinning wickedly at them as a few try to grab my pant leg. “Now, now, easy, ladies,” I croon, shuffling back a step.
    “Hunter, we love you.”
    “Sing for us.”
    “Fuck