Free Shy Town Girls by Katie Leimkuehler Page A

downstairs. She’s so
insightful.”
    “ Barbara, of course!” Ivy
said.
    “ She’s like a modern day Athena
meets Ghandi meets Grace Kelly.” Ella sipped her wine.
    “ Her husband was a philosophy
professor at Northwestern,” Ivy said. “I guess he was a
genius.”
    “ I think she might be a genius as
well,” I said. “She just defined ‘love’ to me according to the
ancient Greeks!”
    “ Ah--Eros, Philia, and Agape?” Ella sang
out.
    “ Yeah!” I laughed. “How did you
know?”
    “ She’s constantly preaching that
love philosophy to us,” Ivy said, rolling her eyes. “As if we don’t
know what love is. Ha!”
    “ I mean, it’s cool,” said Ella.
“She’s really got some great insight. But. . .” She gave a
shrug.
    Was I the only one of the three of us who found this
intellectual approach to love intriguing? For the first time, I was
thinking of love beyond desire, lust, and falling into that giant
web of problems that plagues you when you are unable to escape in a
crippling relationship. . .
    “ What’s your love situation these
days, Bobbie?” Ella asked. “Meryl told us about the history between
you and model boy, but I’m guessing that’s over?”
    Over? The word hit me hard. Suddenly I missed Charlie
terribly. I missed his warm body in bed at night. I missed the way
he listened to me so intently when I vented about work. There was
an understanding between us. And more often than not, he would take
my side whenever I complained. Whereas Oliver, who also worked in
the industry and knew exactly what I was going through,would
usually tell me to suck it up, stop complaining, and be grateful
for what I had, just as I would do for him the days he was ready to
turn his back on Fordham. At least we were in it together.
    “ Well,” I said, “Barbara just got
finished telling me that love isn’t a situation. . .I don’t know,
it’s so hard to say it’s over. We’ve had a long and complicated
relationship, and we’re still working together. It’s been hard just
to end it with him cold turkey. I guess me moving in here was a way
to ease out of it.”
    “ Ease out of it?” Ivy said, giving
me a skeptical glance.
    “ I know. I guess that sounds
pathetic. . . it’s hard to explain.” I wanted to end this
conversation. I felt offended and hurt that they didn’t seem to get
how hard this was for me. Of course they didn’t care about me and
my wretched relationship. “Let’s talk about something
else.”
    “ No, no,” Ivy said. “We’re
interested in you. You’re holding back on us.”
    “ I don’t want to be,” I
said.
    “ Explain then,” Ella
insisted.
    “ Yeah. Tell us what’s going
on.”
    They were pushy tonight. I wrapped the plush blanket
more snugly around my shoulders and examined my toes through my
socks.
    “ Do you mind?” Ivy asked. She took a
box of cigarettes out of her purse and lit one up.
    “ Ivy! No smoking on the roof!” Ella
said sternly. “And what the hell are you doing? You don’t
smoke!”
    “ A cigarette once in a while isn’t
the end of the world,” Ivy smiled devilishly. She offered me one
and I shook my head. “Okay,” she said. “So what’s the
story?”
    “ Well, I started dating Charlie when
I got the job at Fordham Agency.”
    “ Right. So it’s totally a work
thing, huh?”
    “ Yes. Most definitely. So, we had
been dating for awhile, not really exclusively, but he wanted to
take the next step. His lease was ending, and he wanted to move in
with me. I was thrilled, but sort of shocked that he wanted to take
that step, because he wasn’t even introducing me as his girlfriend
yet. But of course I said okay. Then about a week before he was
supposed to move in, when I checked his text messages, I found out
he was cheating on me. Long story short, I let him move in, and one
year later, here I am.”
    “ Wow,” Ivy blurted. “He cheated on
you? Just goes to show, some guys won’t be satisfied with
anything.”
    I hated