Free The Silent Wife by A. S. A. Harrison

tenant arrives and lets Todd in. By the time he’s broken into the janitor’s room to get at an extra set of keys, he has a message from Stephanie saying that one of her kids is sick and she won’t be in to work. He spends the rest of the morning dealing with things that Stephanie would normally be doing, and when Natasha calls at lunchtime to ask him if he’s spoken to his lawyer, he tells her that the world doesn’t operate according to her whims.
    Natasha’s readiness to take offence, her proclivity to cry, to pout, to withdraw—this is all new to him, and he finds it wearing. Jodi doesn’t behave this way. What is Natasha’s problem? He’d like to take it up with her but prudently holds his tongue, and although the day is slipping away he talks her into meeting him for lunch.
    When he shows up at Francesca’s in Little Italy—a regular spot of theirs because it’s close to the university—Natasha is seated by the pillar, reading a menu. As he settles into the chair across from her she fails to lift her eyes or otherwise take any notice of him, sticking with her menu as if she doesn’t already know it by heart. Why can’t she act her age and talk to him, call him a name or two, get it out of her system? On the other hand, meeting him here was no doubt a big concession for her to make, after the way he spoke to her. Ever so gently he takes the menu out of her hands and sets it aside.
    â€œLet’s not fight,” he says. “I’m sorry.”
    Based on the look she gives him—unsmiling, apprehensive—he understands that she intends to break up with him. But it was such a little spat. There must be something else going on. Of course there is. The something else he’s always feared. It’s finally happened, and how could it not, given the throngs of likely young men who rub shoulders with her every day at school. He never believed that she would stay with him forever, in spite of what she says. The talk of marriage, that was just a sideshow, something to try on for size. She’s like that, Natasha. She likes to speculate and presume, just to see what will happen. And why not? She has her whole life ahead of her and needs to figure out what she’s going to be doing and who she’s going to be doing it with. Whereas he is more than half done. Forty-six. Over the hill. A few more years and he’ll be popping vitamin V. He can’t compete with a rival half his age. He has to face the facts and let her go.
    â€œI can’t let you go,” he says. “I love you.”
    Her eyes widen. She gives a little laugh. “Don’t be silly,” she says.
    â€œAren’t you breaking up with me?”
    â€œNo. As much as you deserve it.”
    Their server appears and Natasha orders a meatball sandwich, so Todd gets that too, even though he has no appetite. Then he breaks his lunchtime rule and orders a beer. She isn’t leaving him and he should be feeling relieved, but something isn’t right.
    â€œWhat is it?” he asks.
    Ignoring the question she starts to talk about school: her nine o’clock class, what the professor was wearing, what he said about the Fauvists. At least she’s decided to speak to him, but when the food arrives she digs in and falls silent again. He talks about his morning, the string of mishaps starting with the lost key. He’s trying to entertain her, get her laughing, but there’s something on her mind. He drinks down his beer and orders another. She doesn’t come out with it till after she’s eaten her meal, every scrap of it, and has a cup of tea in front of her. When she tells him it’s like a kick in the head.
    â€œHow could this happen?” he yells. “I thought you were on the pill.”
    She shushes him. She’s turned pale and seems confused. “I thought you wanted children,” she says.
    â€œOf course I want children,”