Free Coincidences by Maria Savva

‘You just said that having a
baby is the most important thing to you. Shouldn’t I be the most important
thing to you? Think about it... you’re the one who’s putting a wall between us.
You’re more concerned about having a baby than you are about the way I feel.’
    Stephanie sat in stunned
silence. She knew what he said made sense, but her mind was not ready to hear
that she had to give up her dream of having a child. She wanted to be with
Roger, but she also wanted a child. ‘Is it so bad that I want us to be a
family?’
    ‘Look, if it will mean I can
get some peace, I will come with you to meet this woman, but I’m not promising
anything. With any luck, you’ll come to your senses and we can leave this in
the past.’
    ‘You’ll come? You’ll meet
Miranda?’ She smiled through her tears and shrugged away the doubts that were
creeping into her mind. She wanted to focus on the positive. Roger seemed to be
coming around to the idea. At least that’s what she tried to tell herself.
    ‘Don’t get your hopes up, we
haven’t met her yet.’ His voice was flat, emotionless.
    Stephanie put her arms around
him. ‘Thank you, darling, thank you.’ She put her head onto his chest and cried
tears of joy as he shook his head, unable to understand how things had ever
reached this point.
     
    After meeting with Miranda, Stephanie and Roger discussed
the matter again, and Roger’s attitude seemed to have changed. It appeared that
he had recovered some hope, and Stephanie felt that this would indeed be just
the thing they needed to save their marriage: Roger would have a child of his
own, and Miranda would be out of the picture once the baby was born; she’d said
something about wanting to take a year off to travel abroad. Everything seemed
to be coming together perfectly.
    Miranda was twenty-two years
old. She was quite ordinary looking; she had mousey-brown hair and was slightly
on the plump side. She was pretty enough that Stephanie didn’t have to be
concerned about what the child might look like, but plain enough so she didn’t
have to worry about Roger taking a fancy to her.
    She liked Miranda on first
meeting her; she seemed sincere and very polite. When Stephanie questioned her
about whether she’d given thought to how difficult it would be for her to give
up her child, Miranda had replied: ‘Some women are just not natural mothers,
I suppose. The way I see it is, you want a baby and I can give that to you, in
exchange for the money I need to travel. It’s a fair swap. I don’t really fancy
sleepless nights and endless nappy changing at my age. I want to travel and see
the world. My mum had six children and I’m the oldest; I was always being
called upon to look after the younger ones. I made the decision a few years
ago, when I was knee high in potty training and dirty nappies, that I don’t
want children of my own. Who knows, maybe when I’m older I’ll change my views,
but for now I want to be free to enjoy my life.’
     
    Miranda seemed like the perfect surrogate mother.
    Once all the details had been
agreed, Roger became more loving towards Stephanie; he began to pay much more
attention to her, which seemed to be his way of assuring her that he loved her
even though he would be having a child with another woman. He seemed much more
considerate of her feelings and sensitive to her insecurity. It was a side of him
that Stephanie had not seen for some time. Unfortunately, it didn’t last long.
    Almost as soon as Miranda
announced she was pregnant, Roger became more distant. He spent most of his
time at work, and would not return home until the early hours. Their relationship
was once again failing, and Stephanie began to worry that they had made a big
mistake in agreeing to the surrogacy. How could they bring up a child together
if they hardly ever communicated? She spent most of her lonely nights crying.
    When Alice was born, however,
Roger’s attitude seemed to change again, and they spent a