Free Unraveled by Dani Matthews Page A

grudgingly.
    He shakes
his head, his expression softening with his next words. “If he cares about you,
Blayre, he'd want to know these things. I know you don't want to hear this but
he's just using you. How can you want to be with someone who won't give you
anything of himself?”
    “Have you
ever considered that I might be using him as well?” I counter back calmly.
    “And are
you?”
    “Yes.”
    “For the
drugs?”
    “Partly.”
    “The sex?”
he asks tightly.
    I look at
him mutely, refusing to answer that one.
    “Lay it out for
me, Blayre.”
    “He doesn't
want me to be someone else. He accepts me as I am, flaws and all. I don't feel
like I have to be a different person with him.”
    “And you
feel like I see you differently? That I pressure you to be someone other than
yourself?” Noah asks with a frown.
    “Yes!”
    “How?”
    “You treat
me like I'm a good person.”
    His gaze
holds mine steadily. “I treat you like a good person because I see it in you.
It's there, whether you want to believe it or not. I haven't once asked you to
be something you are not and don't you sit there and tell me you've been
putting on an act with me. I can read people pretty damn well nowadays and all
your reactions have been honest. You react instinctively to me and it's not
some persona you pull on when I'm around. It's real.”
    “I just told
you I do drugs. How is that good in your eyes?”
    “It's not,”
he says honestly. “Blayre, we all make mistakes in life. How else do we learn?
Unfortunately drugs in high school isn't a rarity, either. I did Marijuana and some
stuff years ago because it's what you do when you're young—you try things out
and learn from your mistakes.”
    I stare at
him because I can't believe he's telling me I'm still worth the effort he's
putting into me.
    “If you
think that doing drugs is going to make me want to give up on you, you're
wrong. It frustrates me to no end that you are doing these things to yourself,
but that doesn't make you bad. What I see is a woman who is confused.”
    “I'm not
confused,” I mumble.
    “The hell
you're not.”
    Well, hell.
I'd expected a different reaction out of him and instead he's trying to be
supportive. He's also right. I guess I am confused.
    “So Cole is
nothing more than a diversion. He's a distraction, a way to feel good about
yourself even for a brief moment of time, am I right?”
    “Yeah.”
    “Who's got
you feeling so down on yourself, Blayre? I've noticed that someone's obviously
messed with you in the past for you to feel so negatively about yourself. Who
has made you feel like you deserve a guy like Cole?”
    I look down
at my hands. God, I don't want to go there.
    “You can
trust me,” Noah assures softly.
    I already
know that or I wouldn't be sitting here trying to be as honest with him as I
can. I look up at him pleadingly. “I don't think I'm ready to go there with you
yet.”
    After a
moment, he nods. “Alright. I'd like to go back to Cole.”
    I nod. Cole
was safer at this point.
    “You do
realize that Cole is a negative factor in your life that you don't need, don't
you? You're already dealing with other issues, you don't need him adding to
it.”
    “I know,” I
say quietly.
    “Then don't
you think it's time to break things off with him? You don't need him, you've
got me and Tate. I know you're scared to confide in Tate but you can come to me
anytime about anything . No judgment, Blayre.”
    He's saying
all the right things. I'm just blown away that this conversation has turned out
to be positive when it should have ended with me walking away after Noah became
disappointed with who I really am. Instead, he's still sitting there, his brown
eyes sincere when he speaks to me. He genuinely wants to help me and be here
for me. I'm perfectly aware that I don't deserve any of this but yet at the
same time I kind of feel like I can finally breathe a little bit more after
unloading on him.
    I realize Noah
is waiting for me to