Free Living With Regret by Riann C. Miller

we’re together, baby ...that’s all that matters.”
    “Jordan?” I’m snapped back to the present when I hear him say my name. I have no idea how to answer him. Since that conversation, I’ve traveled to all three places, but of course he doesn’t know that.
    I clear my throat. “I think we should wait until your mind is back to normal before we make plans to travel.” Chase nods his head and wanders further into his living room.
    Chase looks around with a confused expression before he stops and stares at his couch. His eyes widen in horror.
    “Is something wrong?”
    He’s already shaking his head no. “Everything is fine, it’s just . . .” He opens and closes his mouth several times with a look of panic on his face. His eyes scan the rest of the room, almost with a look of distaste.
    He seemed happy when he first walked through the door but he’s anything but happy now. I wonder if someone else picked out this place for him? Maybe an old girlfriend or, hell, it could have been his dad. Money and prestige definitely matter to Steve Adams and that’s exactly what this house screams.
    “What are you thinking about?” I ask softly.
    Chase shakes his head like he’s trying to clear his mind of a bad memory. “I just ...this place ...it doesn’t seem right. Not with you here, and I want you ...to be here with me.”
    Ah, so this is the real reason he wants to take a trip. It appears being in his house for only a few minutes has jarred his subconscious. He knows I don’t belong here, which means if I want him to remember his life—the one that doesn’t include me—then this is exactly where we need to be.
    “Maybe we’ll take a trip in a few weeks after you’ve had time to rest.” The smile on my face disappears when I see the look he’s giving me.
    “Please don’t treat me like I’m incompetent. I can handle that from a lot of people without giving a shit, but not from you. Never from you.” Crap. His voice sounds lost and sad, and never once did I think my comment would make him feel incompetent of anything.
    “I’m sorry, I never meant—”
    “I know you didn’t,” he interrupts. “I want to be the one who’s protecting you, not the other way around. I’m almost certain I’ve done a really shitty job of protecting you in the past, but let me now. Please. Give me the chance to show you I can do better.”
    Oh ...my ...God ...The eighteen year old me would love to forgive him. I want to go back to the night in the park, only this time, Chase would ask me to marry him and all would be right in the world.
    God, I don’t know what in the hell I was thinking agreeing to this fucked up brand of torture. This isn’t real, he isn’t really apologizing, and I need to do my best to remember that before I break down and actually forgive him for breaking my heart.

CHASE
     
    I hate this fucking house. I can’t even remember why I bought it in the first place ...why we bought it, but I know I don’t want to be here, and I’m almost certain I know why our relationship is strained.
    When I looked at the couch, I had a vision, or God forbid a memory. Either way, I saw an unfamiliar female and she was taking her clothing off ...for me. The idea that I might have cheated on Jordan is more than I can stomach, but it does explain why she seems tense, almost guarded around me.
    Oh God, what have I done? How could I have cheated on the only woman I’ll ever love? That has to be why she was in New York, why she didn’t show up until the other day, and why I haven’t seen a lick of anything in the house that belongs to her. No matter what, she’s here now. She came back to me and that only proves how much she truly loves me. If God is going to gift me with a second chance, then I’d be a real fool not to take the time to remind her why we belong together.
    “Oh, hey, there you are.” I glance up from the chair I’m sitting in that overlooks the hillside. I came out here to drink a beer while