Free Wanting You by Ryan Michele Page A

do?”
    Brushing her hands on her daisy-covered apron, she got down to business. “Start over there with the veggies. Cut them up to go in that big bowl for the salad.”
    We worked in silence for some time, the only sound filling the kitchen was Grams moving from pot to pot. It was noisy, but peaceful being in the kitchen with her again. “You know, I wasn’t gonna bring this up, but you may see your dad around town. He moved back.”
    My head whipped around to Grams. “What? When?”
    I had known Dad moved away from Cottonwood because of Grams. I thought it was for the best being as I wanted to come back and really didn’t care to see him. “About two years ago. I was gonna tell ya earlier, but just didn’t want ya to hurt, and I didn’t want it to be an excuse for you not to come home.”
    “That wouldn’t keep me away. Is she with him?” I already knew the answer; I just needed to hear the words.
    “Yep. And their kid. Your sister.” I groaned. I knew I had a five year old sister. Grams didn’t keep that from me, but I had no connection to her since dad moved away right after he split from mom.
    “Grams, I can’t do this,” I whispered.
    “I know it’s hard, my girl, but it is what it is. Your daddy didn’t make good choices and let me tell you, I’ve had a hard time getting over what he did to you girls, but it’s in the past. You should get to know your sister.” Grams’s eyes were soft, but firm.
    “I don’t know about that.” I hadn’t known a lot of things when I left—only that my mom was having a mental breakdown.
    “The kid’s innocent.” I knew deep down Grams was right. Even now, having the sister I’d always wanted, I couldn’t help but think of all the hurt the whole situation caused my family.
    “Grams. I don’t think I can.”
    “You don’t have to do it today. Just think about it. And be prepared if you happen to see him downtown.” Grams patted my shoulder and then squeezed it slightly.
    “What’s he up to these days?” I knew I shouldn’t give a shit, but he was my father.
    “When he got back, I don’t know how he did it, but he bought the laundromat and carwash in town. He runs them,” she said as she stirred the pot.
    “Wow. Guess he’s back to normal, huh?” Dad was always involved in something. It never failed, he was trying the next best thing.
    “Guess so. Are you?” Grams’s voice was incredulous. I knew she only wanted the best for me, but she made it difficult to answer her.
    “I’m fine.” My voice was low and quiet.
    “You will not lie to me, young lady,” Grams’s stern voice had me turning toward her.
    “Sorry, Grams. It’s part of me that I have to deal with.” Not really. I hadn’t done well dealing with the first year being in California. Mom’s constant badmouthing and my anger from having to move ate at me, making me hate him. But as time went on, I started seeing things differently and not with rose colored glasses. It didn’t make it any easier.
    Grams stopped stirring the spaghetti noodles and got right in my face. “You’re giving him and your mom control. You need to take it back.”
    “What?” I asked her, stunned by her abruptness.
    “You are giving him the control of your life. You have to figure out how to deal with it,” Grams said as if it were the most common knowledge in the world.
    “Grams, how the hell am I supposed to do that?”
    “As much as I don’t want to say this, maybe talk to him. You’ve grown up. Maybe he can explain himself.” I didn’t think there was anything that he could do to explain his actions.
    “Ha! Grams, he cheated on Mom and left us. Now, I’m not saying Mom is innocent, but he left me.” The hurt from those words broke my heart. I went from having a dad who loved me and spent time with me to … nothing.
    Grams’s eyes bored into me. “You do remember that he was with you up until Annabelle decided to leave, then you didn’t have contact.”
    “It’s what he wanted.