Free Plain Proposal by Beth Wiseman

thudded with disappointment, and she hung her head. A moment later Saul’s hand was gently lifting her chin until her eyes met his again. “I’m not good enough for you, Miriam Raber.” His finger brushed her cheek as he spoke in the raspy whisper that always sent her senses soaring.
    She reached up, put her hand on his, then closed her eyes. “I think you are perfect for me, Saul Fisher.”

    Saul prayed all the way home. He knew what he was doing was as wrong as it could be, but nothing had ever felt more right to him. Being around Miriam, actually talking to her, getting to know her— it made his heart flip in his chest. But getting too close to her would only hurt them both in the end. And poor Miriam was going into this blind. Saul knew he would leave in August for the Englisch world, forgoing baptism and a future here in Paradise. When he visited Pittsburgh a few months ago, he never could have imagined how that trip would change his life. He’d answered the ad for an apprentice chef with little hope of landing his dream job. But soon after his trip and meeting with the owner of the restaurant, the letter came. . .
    He’d saved enough money, and his brothers were old enough to fend for themselves. He’d taught them as much as he could. At fifteen and thirteen, Ruben and James both knew how to prepare some basic meals, tend to the fields, and handle the tools in the barn. Ruben was turning out to be a fine carpenter, and now that James was graduated from school, Saul knew he would find his calling too.
    He tried to ease his guilt through prayer. It was bad enough that he would be leaving his father and brothers, but now he would be leaving Miriam too. Their feelings for each other would only grow if they dated through the summer, setting them both up for heartache. But he’d worked so hard to save his money, and Daed was on the mend. Surely everyone would be all right when he left.
    Miriam would go on to find someone who deserved her. She’d been raised to be the perfect Amish fraa , and some lucky man would win her heart after Saul was gone. He promised himself that he would not break her heart. They would have fun, enjoy each other, but not get too close. But if that was true, then why couldn’t he stop wishing he could just kiss her, hold her in his arms one time. . .
    He pulled up his driveway. Ruben and James were sitting on the front porch, dangling their feet over the side. Ruben had his head in his hands, but James looked up when Saul pulled closer. His brother swiped at his eyes, and Saul knew immediately what was going on. This scene had played out a hundred times, but Saul thought they were past this. He walked across the yard and stood at the edge of the porch. Both his brothers locked eyes with him. Saul waited.
    “It’s worse than ever before,” Ruben said as he stifled tears. “Go see for yourself.”

5
    M IRIAM’S MOTHER WAS MORE THAN A LITTLE MAD WHEN Miriam showed up too late to help with supper. Mamm had barely spoken to her, and Miriam was relieved when it was time to head upstairs for bed.
    “I hope I didn’t get you in trouble, Miriam. Are you not allowed to date?” Shelby fluffed the pillow behind her.
    “ Ya , I’m allowed to date.” Miriam ran her brush the length of her hair. “I just think Mamm would prefer that I date Jesse.” She rolled her eyes.
    “Well, I gotta admit, I’m a little confused about that too. Jesse is so hot, and I could tell on our ride home how much he likes you. Your name came up in every conversation.”
    Miriam put the brush in the drawer, then got comfy in her bed. “Jesse is very nice, and ya , he’s handsome. But Saul. . .” She smiled with recollections of their time alone sitting on the porch at the Zook farm. “He’s just special.”
    Shelby sat up, hung her legs over the side of the bed, and faced Miriam. “He does seem nice, but. . .”
    Miriam sat up, turned toward Shelby, and crossed her legs beneath her. “What is