Free True Control 4.2 by Willow Madison

exam. She only looked at me, but said nothing.
    “Lucy…” In this small room, even trying to keep my voice soft, it booms against the hard surfaces. She looks at me. My sweet, lovely Lucy. “It’s going to be okay.” I smile, trying to relax her. I stand up and take her hand in mine, pulling her against me. “I love you very much. I heard what you had to say earlier too…I know you’re scared, baby.” I kiss her palms. She usually smiles at this.
    “You do?” She’s near tears. She has been since we left the apartment.
    “Yes. I know…” I breathe in a little, squeezing her hands, rubbing her fingers a little more. “I know you need reassurances.” I wink at her. This usually does the trick. She knows that I’m happy with her when I do this. She does relax, but only a little. Despite everything that’s happened yesterday, this morning…I want her to be happy.
    “I’m not going to hurt you. No matter what the results are today.” I hear myself saying it. I hadn’t decided this. Until now. I listen to myself making this big decision and I know it’s right…for her, for me. “I won’t punish you for yesterday.” And I know I won’t. Some part of me has decided to keep the monster locked up, away from Lucy, for good. To keep her safe always. I’ve made this decision before. I can do this now. Go on, you can admit it to yourself, coward…you’re doing it to keep us safe. She ran to Jake for a reason. And you can’t lose her.
    Lucy throws herself into my arms, crying out and hysterically shedding tears. I have to brace myself to not let her fall off the exam table.
    “It’s ok, baby. It’s all going to be ok.” I lift her wet chin and kiss her wet lips. “You’ve given me everything, Lucy…everything I’ve ever asked of you…I can give you this…a little space…a little time.” I kiss her again. “We’ll have a clean start…would you like that, little girl?”
    She nods, more tears flowing, but her sobs gone now. “Max, I know you love me…I didn’t mean it when I said…”
    “Shhh…I know…you were scared.” I kiss her again, holding her for a second longer against me before looking into her beautiful red-rimmed eyes. “I won’t make promises to you…promises I know I might not be able to keep…but I’ll try.” She nods. “I’ll try to be gentler with you. I’ll try to give you some…” This is harder to say. I don’t even know if I want to say it, but I know I have to…for her. I can’t lose her. My life is lost without her in it. She scared me yesterday, leaving like that. I won’t lose her. “I’ll try to give you some control over your day to day, baby…to allow you more…freedom.”
    “You will?” I nod. She looks scared again. I don’t know why. Because she doesn’t believe me? No…
    I smile, grabbing her chin harder. “That doesn’t mean I’m going to let you get away with anything, little girl. And you’ll have Jeff as your driver from now on, to take you anywhere, to keep you safe.” I may give her a little more freedom, but I’ll keep tighter tabs on her. She smiles against the pressure of my fingers. I know my little Lucy so well. We’ll be okay. She nods and sniffs.
    Dr. Patel walks in again at that moment. She gives me a look, but doesn’t say anything about my hand on Lucy’s chin. “Well…I’m used to seeing tears, but usually not until I give the good news…” She laughs.
    Lucy is wiping her face, still pressed against me though. I keep my arm around her.
    “And good news it is. Lucy, Max…Congratulations! You’re pregnant!”
    I feel Lucy shake and laugh and cry against me. I turn to hold her, bury her face against me. I’m glad I made my decision. Whatever happens…we’re forever linked. Lucy and me.
    And I will keep us safe. And together.

Chapter 17 HER
    On the ride home, hands linked on my knee like always. I keep looking at him. I’m never sick of staring at his handsome features. Chiseled. That’s the word