Free A Moment of Weakness by Karen Kingsbury

security. A place where she would be loved.”
    Tanner stroked her cheek again. Still he remained silent, and Jade knew he was giving her the space to say everything she’d never said. She sighed. “What kind of mother leaves her child and never looks back? She never called me or visited me or remembered my birthday. Didn’t she love me, Tanner? Didn’t she care about what I might feel when I was old enough to realize what she’d done? To realize she didn’t want me?”
    She began crying again and through her tears her voice rose. She hated her mother for what she’d done, and it felt good to be able to finally say so. “Other little girls talked about their mamas … how they baked or shopped for them, how they curled their hair or helped them with their homework.
    “Every time someone asked me about my mother I felt like a piece of my heart was being strangled.”
    Jade relaxed against Tanner’s chest and stared at a picture on the wall. The image of Tanner and his parents outside their home in Virginia smiled back at her. She closed her eyes. How could Tanner relate to this sorry picture of her adolescence?
    Jade clung to Tanner. It didn’t matter if he couldn’t relate. She felt utterly safe and cared for, and now that she had begun, she wanted him to know everything.
    “I was thirteen when I got my period. We’d seen the film in school, but I wasn’t ready. When I saw how much I was bleeding, I hid in my backyard behind a trash pile. I cried and cried,scared about what was happening to me.”
    She craned her head and found his eyes again. “Do you know what I thought? I thought I was dying, Tanner. Because I didn’t have a mother to tell me … I had to sneak into my dad’s wallet and steal five dollars so I could buy pads at the corner store. I wasn’t even sure how to use them or where the blood was coming from.”
    The memory churned in her stomach. She faced Tanner. “I could never, ever in a million years do that to a child. If I had a child I’d want him to have two parents, so he would know he was loved by a mother and a father.”
    Tanner was silent, listening, watching her. Jade felt more tears and she blinked them back. “I’d cherish everything about him. The baby years, the toddler years. Kindergarten and grade school. I’d volunteer in his classroom and take him with me on walks. I’d make scrapbooks of his life so he could see where he came from and know where he was going. I would be his closest friend in the world, and we’d love each other forever.” Jade paused. “Maybe that’s why I feel so strongly about the children’s unit at Kelso General.”
    Tanner placed his finger under her chin and Jade could see in his eyes that he understood. When he spoke his voice was filled with compassion. “Those are your children. You don’t want me or the board or anyone else taking them away from you.”
    Jade nodded. “I can’t tell you how many times my dad has told me I’m nothing, a nobody without a future.… But when I’m with those sick babies, I know what I’m supposed to do with my life. That’s why I was so mad that day at the meeting.”
    Tanner still cupped her face with his hand, tracing her jaw and staring deeply into her eyes. “Your father says that to you?”
    He was clearly horrified, obviously unable to fathom afather like hers, and again Jade felt their differences. “All the time.”
    “You don’t need that, Jade. The man isn’t good enough for a daughter like you. You should leave home. Get a place of your own.”
    Jade nodded. “I will. As soon as I finish my nurse’s training.”
    Tanner stood then and moved across the room. When he returned, he held what looked like a Bible. “I want to show you something.”
    “In the Bible?” What did this have to do with her sordid life? Jade watched as Tanner flipped his way through the pages. She noticed highlighted areas throughout and tiny scribbling in the margins. Apparently Tanner was a man who took