Free The Dark Room by Rachel Seiffert Page B

fought for us, Lieschen. He was brave.
    Liesel nods and rubs at her tears with both hands. Lore hides her burning cheeks. There will be no battle in the valley now. No suffering or sacrifice. She is shocked and ashamed at her sense of relief. Breathes deep to fight her cowardice, to remember this forever. This field, the way they stand facing each other, how Peter holds his hands out and Mutti lifts him up and holds him against the sky and he smiles.
    Mutti goes to the town again in the morning, comes back again without food. She gets into bed and stays there. The children are hungry and restless. Lore sends them out, but they play halfheartedly and soon come back inside. Midafternoon, Lore goes through her mother’s pockets once more, and takes Peter and Jürgen with her to buy food, from the neighboring farm this time. They get bread and sauerkraut, and an egg for each of them, which Lore carries in her pockets. She lifts Peter onto her shoulders, which is a bit high for him, and he holds on to her ears to stop himself from swaying. Jüri walks ahead and they sing in the twilight as they make their way back along the stream. Lore watches Jüri marching ahead of her. The back of his head is like a soft version of Vati’s in miniature, with the same swirl of hair at the crown. He turns around and walks backwards for a while, skipping to keep up the pace.
    —When will the Americans go away?
    —I don’t know, Jüri. Soon.
    She starts a new song and Jüri turns round, faces forward, his legs stamping the tune into the long rivergrass. Lore watches their reflection in the dark water. She looks like a giant with a lumpy head.Peter has gone to sleep on her shoulders and has slumped forward so that his cheek rests against her ear.
    The farmer’s son stands at the bottom gate, waiting for them. Lore can’t make out his features in the half-light. She sends Jüri ahead with Peter, tells him to wait at the top gate for her. The farmer’s son kicks at the fence with the toe of his boot until the boys are out of earshot. Then he leans in close to Lore.
    —The Americans are going to put your mother in prison.
    —No they’re not. They’ve already come. They didn’t even come in the house.
    —She’s been all through the town, asking people to take you in, but no one wants you.
    —Liar. You’re just a farm boy. You don’t know anything.
    —Nobody wants you here anymore. We’ll have our place back, you’ll see. As soon as your Nazi whore mother is locked up.
    Lore pushes him, but he doesn’t move. He pushes her back, much harder, and she falls onto her side. Two of the eggs crack under her hips. They are both still for a few moments and then the farmer’s son steps forward with his hand out to help her up. There is a hard smack and he swears and pulls abruptly away. Something falls into the grass next to Lore. Another something flies past her head and thumps against the boy’s leg and he swears again. She looks into the pasture and sees Jochen in the half-light, taking aim with a third stone, Jüri standing next to him.
    —Leave our sister alone!
    The farmer’s son wipes at his bloodied ear with his sleeve. Lore gets up and runs through the gate to the twins. Jochen throws his stone and then they all run up the pasture to Peter, who is sitting by the top gate, whining and sucking on a bread crust which Jüri has torn off the loaf for him. Lore picks him up and tucks a loaf under her free arm. Jüri has the rest of the bread and Jochen carries the cabbage.
    —Why did he push you, Lore?
    —How should I know, Jüri, he’s just a stupid boy.
    They stumble over the rough ground in the dark. The broken eggs have soaked through Lore’s dress and are cold against her leg.
    —I broke some eggs when I fell over. We’ll just tell Mutti I tripped in the dark, all right?
    —Why can’t we tell her about the farmer’s son?
    —Because I say so, Jochen.
    They are almost at the house now and hiss their argument under their