Free Blue Skies by Catherine Anderson

grants for school. How is this so different?”
    Carly jackknifed to a sitting position. “How is it different ? Grants are funded by governmental agencies and the private sector. There are grants for research, grants for the disadvantaged, grants for single mothers, and grants for the disabled, to name only a few. I qualified for the help. When I applied, my file was one of hundreds, probably thousands. There was nothing personal about it. It’s not the same as begging for a handout—or holding a mistake over some guy’s head and making him pay through the nose for the next twenty-one years.”
    “It’s okay for you to suffer for the mistake, but he gets off scot-free? Is that how it goes? That doesn’t strike me as being very equitable.”
    “You’re not the one who’s pregnant. It’s not your call to make.”
    Bess crossed her arms. “So you’ll accept my help, but not his.”
    “You’re my friend. If you ever need me, I’ll try to be there for you, too. This isn’t the same. Surely you can see that. I don’t want Hank Coulter’s money. I’d feel like a charity case. Besides, say he offered and I accepted? That would give him rights I’d prefer he not have.”
    “Such as?”
    “Such as—I don’t know. I’d just feel beholden, that’s all. I don’t want to see him again, Bess. Can’t you understand? Every time I think about that night, I want to die.”
    Bess scuffed the toe of her shoe over the carpet. “Carly, unless he has a below average IQ, don’t you think he has some idea why you might have called? He’s going to think about it and put two and two together. When he comes up with four, he’ll try to find you if he’s got a shred of decency.”
    “A shred of decency? You’re crediting him with decency?” Carly flopped back on the bed. “He cursed at me when he realized I was a virgin. He didn’t care that he’d hurt me. He just jerked away, cursed, and passed out. Now, a little over a week later, he didn’t remember me? Don’t talk to me about decency.” Carly pulled the pillow over her face to block out the light. “I can’t talk about this anymore. My head is killing me.”
    She heard Bess turn off the lamp. “You want your drops?”
    “No, not yet. They’re expensive. I’ll wait to see if my eyes stop hurting on their own first.”
    “You need your drops, but they’re expensive, so you’re going to suffer instead of using them? Whether you accept Hank’s money or not, he’ll still have rights, Carly. Sooner or later, he may demand to see his child. What’re you going to do then? Tell him no?”
    Carly pulled the pillow tighter over her face. “I’d never do that. If he’s smart enough to figure it out, and if he finds me, and if he gives a damn, I’ll let him see his child. Just don’t hold your breath waiting for it to happen. He’s a jerk, I tell you. Jerks couldn’t care less about exercising their visitation rights, and they don’t particularly care if their children are provided for.”
    Carly listened as Bess left the room. When she was alone, she rolled onto her side and hugged her knees. Who? Every time she remembered Hank’s saying that, she grew so furious she trembled. Even worse, it hurt more than she cared to admit, even to herself.
     
    Hank kept his cell phone turned on all evening, wondering how Carly had gotten the number. He gave it out to very few people, and he knew damned well he’d never given it to her.
    At ten, Hank said goodnight to Jake and Molly, then went up the log staircase to his bedroom to try calling Carly again. A woman with a deeper voice answered midway through the first ring, giving him the impression she’d been hovering near the phone. Hank knew it wasn’t Carly. Earlier in the evening, her voice had been soft and tremulous. This gal sounded like a Marine Corps sergeant.
    “I, um—” Taken off guard, Hank couldn’t think of what to say. “This is Hank Coulter. Is Carly there?”
    Long silence. Then the woman