Free Beyond Reason by Karice Bolton Page A

completely expected it, but it didn’t make it feel any better. I still hung around Austin and all of our friends, but Jake always had some excuse not to show up. Since he’d broke up with me, I thought he didn’t want to hang out with our friends because I was there, but that had nothing to do with it.”
    Sliding my elbow onto the table, I propped my cheek on my hand and gauged Ayden’s reaction. It felt so natural telling him about me, my history. Ayden’s eyes were focused solely on me and the curiosity behind them was genuine. So was the kindness. I could do this. What I couldn’t even divulge to his sister, I could tell him.
    “Austin and Jake had been best friends since grade school so when Jake wouldn’t even hang out with him, I got concerned. We tried talking to his parents, but they dismissed our concerns completely,” I continued.
    “Austin kind of took over in my life. He became the person I confided in when Jake stopped taking my calls. He was there for me when I tried to get over my first love. And those last couple of months in high school were pretty magical. It was like he took all of the pain away from Jake. At first, we were uneasy about seeing one another since we were all friends, but our emotions called the shots by that point. I had become completely Austin crazy. But I still wanted Jake in my life or anyone’s life, but he just wouldn’t step out of his shell.” I swallowed the lump that started forming in my throat.
    Ayden’s jaw tensed as he watched me begin to move my finger in a continual circle as if that motion would help me get through what I was about to confess.
    “He needed help. Jake needed help and I failed him. Austin and I both failed him. When it happened, when I found him, Austin was with me. I had started getting kind of random texts from him. I didn’t understand them, and sometimes they were just links to odd cartoon sites or random bits of pop culture references. They usually happened late at night so I thought he was just partying too much with a crowd I didn’t know or something.” The hollowness began to spread throughout my body as I spoke. “He always loved to sneak alcohol everywhere. If someone needed it for a party, he was the man. I actually never asked how he got it, but he always did.”
    I felt buried with guilt and grief, knowing I’d hid my truth, my history.
    “I didn’t know he was battling so many demons, so much pain. Austin and I had just gotten out of a movie and were walking to his truck when I got the text from Jake. It was cryptic…Cryptic enough to understand his intent. I’ll never forget those two words. I’m done .”
    “Oh, god,” Ayden whispered.
    “I showed Austin the text, and he told me to reach out to his parents immediately, which I did. But they weren’t in the state. I got another text from him apologizing and telling me he loved me. By the time Austin sped into his driveway, I was already jumping out of the car. From the moment I grabbed the hidden key under the rock, to climbing the stairs, everything went into slow motion. It was dark inside the house. I yelled for him, but all I heard was the running water upstairs. Austin and I climbed the stairs two at a time until we finally reached the bathroom. He was in it. The water had overflowed the tub. His body was fully submerged. All I remember was Austin pulling him out of the water, trying to revive him. I fell to the floor, crying, holding Jake’s hand, begging for him to come back to me, to us. His parents had called the police on our way over to their house. There was a blur of medics and police. I remember watching the emergency personnel working on him, but nothing they did helped.”
    Ayden’s hand was on my knee, and he was slowly shaking his head as the story I’d never shared with anyone finally had a listener—the listener of my choosing.
    “Austin was holding me in his arms, sheltering me from seeing Jake’s body as they tried to revive him. Austin