Free Return to Paradise by Simone Elkeles

Getting shitfaced drunk is bad enough, but taking pills ...
    Fuck.
    Ingesting pills takes this thing to an entirely different level. I hand the pill back to her. "I can't do this."
    "Do what?" she asks hesitantly.
    I move out from under her and pull up my jeans. "I don't know. I need a minute."
    "For what?" she asks, now completely confused.
    Good question. I look Brandi up and down. She's totally got it goin' on. She's beautiful and has a rockin' bod ... but she's not Maggie. And while I don't want Maggie, or can't have Maggie, or whatever the hell it is that I can't put into a coherent thought because I'm drunk, this isn't gonna work unless I can pull it together.
    "Where's the bathroom?" I ask.
    "Down the hall. You okay? If you're thinking about buying protection out of the bathroom dispensers, you don't have to worry. I've got some."
    I head out the door and mumble, "I'll be right back."
    I stumble over to the guys' bathroom and lean over one of the sinks. This sucks. I should be enjoying my night off. Instead, I'm a moody drunk. I look into the mirror in front of me, and it makes me feel worse. I run my hand through my messed-up hair and wonder if I should shave it all off like they did in juvie, 'cause right now I'm not just a moody drunk ... I'm a moody drunk who looks like shit.
    What's worse is I feel as bad as I look.
    I splash water on my face to help bring me out of this mood, but it's no use. Brandi was turning me on, but it wasn't Brandi making me hard. It was thoughts of Maggie. Twisted, I know. There's no way I can go through with this thing with a girl who's just a stand-in.
    I head back toward her room. She's probably tripping by now and ready for some serious action. I hope she's not too pissed I'm skipping out on her XTC party early.
    In the hallway, just as I've got my hand on Brandi's doorknob, I hear Maggie's voice from behind me say, "That's not our suite, Caleb."
    I look toward the girl who's been haunting my nights ever since I was locked up in jail. The girl who just ruined my sexual escapade with Brandi without even knowing it. She's got hazel eyes that change with her mood, so different from the girl I was lying in bed with a few minutes ago. And while Maggie looks damn hot to me, I doubt she has any unicorn tats above her ass or wears lacy black bras. I'd like to find out, though.
    "I know," I say.
    Maggie limps over to me, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Then what are you doing out in the hall without a shirt on?" She looks me up and down. "And why are your, um, pants unbuttoned ... and unzipped?"
    The door to Brandi's room opens and Brandi appears. Her hair is mussed, her pants are undone and hanging loosely on her hips, and she's got her shirt clenched against the front of her bra. I'm screwed.
    "Oh," Maggie mumbles, obviously getting her answer without me having to say a word.
    "There you are," Brandi says with a smile, then looks over at Maggie. "Who are you?"
    "His gir friend," Maggie answers with a stern, straight face.
    Brandi looks from Maggie to me, then back to Maggie. "You're kidding, right?"
     

TWELVE

Maggie
    he girl with her barely there shirt clutched in front of her is waiting for an answer. Obviously she doesn't believe that a girl who looks like me could be dating a boy who looks like Caleb.
    My insides clench in disgust. Caleb isn't my boyfriend and technically never was, but it still hurts to see him standing here in the hallway, his shirt off and pants unzipped, obviously ready to get it on with this girl.
    I don't wait for him to tell the girl that the last person on earth he'd call his girlfriend would be me. Whether it hurts or not, I promised Leah that I would look after Caleb. She senses he's in trouble. Leah's twin-ESP senses were right on.
    I skipped the movie tonight after the youth group dinner because I was tired and my leg started to ache. Little did I know I'd find Caleb here, like this, with another girl.
    Looking at them together is a slap in the face.