Free Queen of Babble Gets Hitched by Meg Cabot

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    “Okay, I’ll be seeing you guys later,” I say, my own voice pitched way too high, as I all but shove Luke out of the way in my haste to leave the booth.
    “I’ll walk you home,” a confused Luke says, but I brush this offer aside with a quick kiss on his cheek and a whispered No, thanks, I’ll be fine, stay and have fun, then bolt for the door, where I stand gasping in the bitterly cold January air.
    “Spare a quarter, miss?” the homeless drunk asks me, holding out a filthy, chipped coffee cup.
    I don’t even answer him. That’s what a jaded New Yorker I’ve become. I never have a quarter to spare anymore. I need my quarters. I need all the quarters I can get. Do you have any idea how much it costs to do laundry around here?
    “Fine,” the homeless guy says with a sniff. “Be that way, bitch.”
    My eyes fill with tears. I’m not a bitch! I’m not! Any more than Ava Geck is a skanky crack whore. Any more than Chaz Pendergast is in love with me. Oh, why did he have to say that, anyway? Why does he have to be so mean? After having gotten those beautiful roses, I’d been completely ready to forgive him for all the nasty things he’d said yesterday morning… and then he’d had to go and say that.
    … the girl I’ve finally realized I’ve always been in love with… who I was beginning to think just might love me back…
    He’d only been teasing. He’s always teased me, the whole time I’ve known him.
    So… why does it hurt so much this time?
    “You want a happy romantic relationship? Don’t ruin it by getting married.”
    But if you don’t get married… what’s the point?

A HISTORY of WEDDINGS
    The Elizabethan age brought us the flowering of poetry, literature, theater, and romance. So it’s no wonder we have Elizabethan England to thank for so many of our modern-day wedding traditions, including the exchange of rings, a more traditional (i.e., non-weapons-bearing) use of bridesmaids, the exchange of wedding vows, even bridal bouquets. Most upper-class marriages were still arranged during this time, often from birth. Only the lower classes had the luxury of being able to marry for love.
    But if this hadn’t been the case, what else would William Shakespeare have had to write about?
    Tip to Avoid a Wedding Day Disaster
    Your sister-in-law-to-be might have the cutest kids in the world—and she just very well may have a point: Maybe they should have a role in your wedding. But don’t let her browbeat you into sacrificing one of your bridesmaid, ring bearer, or flower girl positions for her kids. Don’t upset one of your friends or family members just to placate his sister. There are lots of other tasks her kids can perform throughout the ceremony, such as guest book holder, confetti or program passer-outer, or even adorable, if slightly height-challenged, usher. Use your imagination, and you’ll both be happy.
    LIZZIE NICHOLS DESIGNS ™

• Chapter 7 •
Now join hands, and with your hands your hearts.
    William Shakespeare (1564–1616), English dramatist and poet
    “Your friend Chaz sounds like a pig” is Monique’s observation when she and Tiffany overhear me relating the details about my evening to Gran (Mom, as usual, wasn’t available) while the three of us are having a quick, between-fittings lunch in the shop the next day.
    “She’s right about that,” Gran, on my cell phone, agrees. “Whoever she is.”
    “He’s not really,” I say, pausing with my Così tandoori chicken sandwich halfway to my lips. “I mean, under ordinary circumstances. That’s what’s so weird about this.”
    “Well, that’s it, then,” Monique says firmly. She’s a beauty every bit as statuesque—and sure of herself—as Tiffany.
    Unlike Tiffany, however, Monique has a British accent that makes her sound like a college professor every time she speaks.
    A college professor who talks a lot about men being “wankers,” I mean.
    “What’s it?” I ask.
    Tiffany and Monique exchange