Free The Chemistry of Death by Simon Beckett

breathe. I rested my head on the wheel, trying not to gulp air, knowing if I hyperventilated that would only make it worse.
    Finally, the panic attack subsided. My shirt was sticking to me with sweat, but I didn't move until there was a blare of horn from behind me. A tractor was chugging up towards where I was blocking the road. As I looked the driver gestured angrily for me to get out of the way. I held up my hand in apology and set off again.
    By the time I reached the village I was beginning to feel calmer. I wasn't hungry but I knew I should eat something. I stopped outside the store that was the closest thing the village had to a supermarket. I was planning to buy a sandwich and take it back home, snatch an hour or two trying to put my thoughts in order before evening surgery started. As I passed the chemist's a young woman came out and almost bumped into me. I recognized her as one of Henry's patients, one of the loyal number who still preferred to wait until they could see him. I'd treated her once, when Henry hadn't been working, but still had to search for her name.
    Lyn, I thought. Lyn Metcalf.
    'Oh, sorry,' she said, clutching a parcel to her.
    'That's all right. How are you, anyway?'
    She gave me a huge grin. 'I'm great, thanks.'
    As she went off up the street I can remember thinking it was good to see someone so obviously happy. And then I didn't give her another thought.
     
7
     
    It was later than usual when Lyn reached the embankment that ran through the reedbeds, but the morning was even mistier than the day before. A white smudge overlaid everything, swirling into aimless shapes that remained just out of sight. It would burn off later, and by lunchtime it would have become one of the hottest days of the year. But right now all was cool and damp, and the idea of sun and heat seemed far away.
    She felt stiff and out of sorts. She and Marcus had stayed up late the night before to watch a film, and her body was still protesting about it. She'd found it uncharacteristically hard to force herself out of bed that morning, grumbling to Marcus who merely grunted unsympathetically as he locked himself in the shower. Now she was out her muscles felt stiff and grudging.
Run it off. You'll feel better for it afterwards.
She grimaced.
Yeah, right.
    To take her mind off how hard the run was proving, she thought about the parcel she'd hidden in the chest of drawers under her bras and pants, where it was a safe bet Marcus wouldn't find it. The only interest he took in her underwear was when she was wearing it.
    She hadn't intended to buy the pregnancy testing kit when she went into the chemist's. But when she'd seen them on the shelves, impulse had made her put one into her basket along with the extra box of tampons she hoped she wouldn't be needing. Even then she might have had second thoughts. It was hard enough keeping anything secret in this place, and buying something like that could well mean the entire village would be giving her knowing looks before the day was out.
    But the shop was empty, and there had only been a bored young girl on the checkout. She was new, indifferent to anyone over the age of eighteen, and unlikely to even notice what Lyn was buying, let alone care enough to gossip. Face burning, Lyn had stepped forward and busied herself rummaging in her bag for the money as the teenager listlessly rang the testing kit through on the till.
    She'd been grinning like a kid when she hurried out, only to bump straight into one of the doctors. The younger one, not Dr Henry. Dr Hunter. Quiet, but not bad-looking. Caused quite a stir among the younger women when he arrived, though he didn't seem to notice it. God, she'd felt so embarrassed; it had been all she could do not to laugh. He must have thought she was mad, beaming at him like an idiot. Or thought she fancied him. The thought of it made her smile again now.
    The run was doing its work. She was finally starting to loosen up, kinks and aches easing as the